Jack of Clubs

Take a moment to imagine you are in the audience at a small, intimate theatre, watching a magic show. The magician hands a deck of cards to a random member of the audience, asks her to check that it's an ordinary pack and give the cards a shuffle. The magician then turns to another member of the audience and asks him to name a card at random.

"Jack of Clubs," he says.

The magician covers his eyes, takes the deck of cards, and after some fumbling around he pulls out a card.

What is the probability of the card being the Jack of Clubs?

Depending on your knowledge of cards, you probably already have an answer. Is your answer one in fifty-two on account that there are 52 cards in an ordinary deck?

That might be one answer. Keep thinking.

What happens in life when we a challenge is posed of us? We look at what we know and we make a few assumptions and presto, we have an answer. But did we consider all the available information?

Had you forgotten that it was a magician pulling out the card. That could make a difference. If you were at a theatre and the magician on stage was performing wouldn't you expect him to pull the Jack of Clubs? In fact you'd probably say he would have an almost 100% likelihood that he would pull the Jack of Clubs. The magician wouldn't be in business for long if his tricks didn't work!

Are they the only two answers? 1-in-52 or 100%?

What about that there was no chance it was the Jack of Clubs because the card was in the pocket of the lady who shuffled the deck?

Perhaps the magician pulls a ten dollar bill from his pocket and "Jack of Clubs" is written on it with a marker pen.

Maybe the magician isn't really that good and botched the trick!

The reality is that there is no correct answer to this problem, but what's interesting is it makes you think about the other possibilities, rather than just the obvious one or perhaps two answers.

The funny thing though, is that the answer 1-in-52 is actually probably the least likely to be the correct answer. Magicians don't rely on luck or probability to perform their tricks. Or else they wouldn't be called magicians, they would be called unemployed!

The opportunity here is to realize that the more we think about a problem or challenge the more options arise. Sometimes the obvious answer is incorrect and assumptions can be very dangerous!

Chasing a Dream...

Historically people who have obtained tremendous success have been single-minded in their focus and determination to make their dreams come to fruition. The story of the Honda motorbike and Mister Soichiro Honda is about following through on a dream.

Soichiro Honda was a racer, a businessman, and a manufacturer. But most of all he was a dreamer. He dreamed of a better way of making piston rings, founded a small company, and began production. He dreamed of giving people everywhere an economical form of transportation.

He learned his craft as a young boy working for Tokyo Art Shokai, an automobile servicing company, as an apprentice. He was given board, lodging and a little pocket money, but received no real wages. He learned important lessons that shaped the rest of his life: Enthusiasm for hard work, an appreciation of the need to improvise, thinking for oneself, a good feel for machines. Soichiro Honda, too, learned from his boss, Yuzo Sakakibara, not just how to do repair work but how to deal with customers and the importance of taking pride in one’s technical ability. Sakakibara was the ideal teacher, both as engineer and as businessman. As well as understanding repair work he was also skilled in more complicated processes such as the manufacturing of pistons.

Honda's first motorcycle was born out of necessity in immediate post World War II Japan, where public transportation was desperately overcrowded and gasoline severely restricted.

One day in September 1946, Mr. Honda was visiting his friend, when by chance he came across a small engine - a generator engine designed for a No. 6 wireless radio from the former Imperial Army that an acquaintance had left with him. When Mr. Honda saw it, he was immediately inspired with an idea. It was a moment of destiny. This encounter determined his whole future direction, and it was from this decisive moment that the later Honda Motor Co. would be born. Mr. Honda had started out as an automobile repair mechanic. Engines were what he knew best, and on top of that, he was an inventor. It did not take him any time to come up with an idea: “Let’s use this to power a bicycle.”

His aim was to adapt them for attachment to push-bikes and, by October 1946, his small factory in Hamamatsu was making complete, makeshift motor bikes using proprietary cycle frames.

Because gasoline was in short supply, Honda adapted his motors to run on turpentine, a fuel that he himself distilled from pine trees and sold throughout Japan.

Honda's first bikes were very successful and supplies of the 500 surplus engines he had purchased ran out after a few months. Because business was good he decided to manufacture his own motors. Using the surplus motor as a model, Honda designed and built his own 50cc engine.

In November 1947, the 1/2 horsepower A-Type Honda was being manufactured and sold as a complete motorbike. It was known as the "Chimney" because it gave off a lot of smoke and a stench of turpentine.

Soichiro Honda started Honda Motor Company in 1948, at the age of 41. 1948 saw Honda introduce a 90cc version of the A-Type known as the "B-Type". By 1949 Honda came out with the "D-Type". Mr. Honda was involved in every step of the two-stroke D-Type Dream's design and manufacture. This was Honda's first motorcycle. This was far from simply slotting a motor into a pushbike frame. Honda called his machine 'The Dream', because his dream of building a complete, motorcycle had come true.

Soichiro Honda was an engineer and was always looking to produce better and more sophisticated machines. The E-Type Dream was a powerful machine capable of 50mph. It had a steel frame and proper suspension front and rear. By October 1951 the new Dream was in production at the rate of 130 units per day.

In July 1958 Honda introduced in Japan what became the world's most successful motor cycle, the C100 Super Cub. It was developed over three years to be a cheap and practical motorcycle that literally anyone could use. It was so easy to operate that even new riders could ride it as easily as a pushbike. Its innovative frame without a crossbar made it popular with the ladies and set a new trend in commuter motorcycling. The word "scooterette" was coined to describe this step-through style motorbike which sold in 50, 70 and 90cc versions.

In 1959 it was the first Honda motorcycle sold in the U.S., eventually becoming the world's best-selling vehicle (30 million to date). As proof the original concept and design was perfect is the fact that today's C50, C70 and C90s have only detail changes to set them apart from the machines of 25 years ago.

From there Honda went from strength to strength, moving into the manufacture of cars in 1963 with the S500 sports car. Today Honda is the largest manufacturer of motorcycles in the world and a car manufacturer with one of the best reputations for quality.

Soichiro Honda had a dream to create affordable economic motorized transport and his passion, hard work and determination saw his dreams fulfilled far past I'm sure even his expectations. Which is interesting because often we see limits to our own success.

Could Soichiro Honda possibly see that from making a few hundred motorized bicycles back in 1946 he would one day be creating a motoring icon known all over the world?

My basic principle is..

My basic principle is that you don't make decisions because they are cheap; you make them because they're right. - Theodore Hesburgh

It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. - Roy Disney

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Susan Boyle

For those of you who haven't seen the video of Susan Boyle singing "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, it's worth taking a look. Similar to the story of Paul Potts a little while ago, here is an unknown British lady, aged 47. Never married and never even kissed! Unfortunately, you can see from her appearance why she was laughed at when she said she wanted to become a professional singer, and be as famous as Elaine Paige (http://www.elainepaige.com/).

When she began to sing it was truly amazing. See for yourself...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

What's remarkable is that she's 47, and up until now had been an unknown. Who knows how small the circle was before April 11th who had heard Susan sing. It's fantastic that a talent contest can uncover such hidden talents. It's also sad that it had to be a talent contest that uncovered her talents. I say sad because our society highly values fame. In fact we take fame as an indicator of talent, ability, knowledge, intelligence, intuition etc. It seems that fame is the ultimate recognition of whether someone is good at what they do. That's what's sad, because Susan Boyle's talents were always there, but the world didn't know. She's no more talented now than she was last week, just a little braver.

The question for everyone is what talents do we all have that we choose to keep hidden under a rock, that we choose to keep in the closet, that we choose to keep to ourselves. What talents are we too afraid to share with others, and what's holding us back.

It takes a televised talent show to bring Susan Boyle to the world. And it's tremendous that she entered herself as a contestant for the show, or what other opportunities would have passed her by.

Undoubtedly it was the action she has finally taken to assert herself and put herself out there that has brought the rewards. In 47 years to never marry or be kissed says something about her track record. Who knows what ridicule she has endured in the past to cause her to make that her life.

It seems there are so many "armchair experts" who know better than everyone else, who calmly sit back and criticize, but this lady should be cheered, revered and acknowledged for taking a huge risk and putting herself on the line.

She has won, simply for taking the risk. Her life will be forever changed, for better or worse. One thing she cannot say now is that she "could've been, if only..." Now she will have the answer.

We should answer these similar questions for ourselves. We should take a risk and put ourselves out there. We should not criticize those who do that because they are the ones who are taking action, and action-takers deserve to be the winners.

"Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." -Dale Carnegie

The Running Man

It's amazing what happens when you set yourself a goal and commit to it. About 10 weeks ago I committed to running the Calgary half-marathon on May 31st. It's been 10 years since I last ran further than a couple of blocks to the bus stop because I could see my bus coming. I'm a 190lb man with a body (so I thought) that was built for short bursts of strength. Running distances in the hundreds of metres, not thousands!

This afternoon I just completed another 10km mid-week, lunch-time run. This is after running 13.5km on Sunday. Week after week I have been consistently building my stamina by running a "long run" on Sundays that keep getting longer and longer. My first run back on February 1st, was a mere 4.67km and that exhausted me. Now I run almost three times the distance and I'm 15% faster over the whole distance. Some days it feels like I could run for ever!

My primary goal for May 31st is to finish the race. I'd love to run the 1/2 marathon in under 2 hours and right now that's an achievable goal.

What have I done to keep myself in the right frame of mind?

I look in the mirror when I get out of the shower and I say "I have the body of a runner." Now I believe it. That belief spurs me on to run when I'm not feeling 100% like I want to. That belief allows me to stretch my long runs each week and it gives me a "can-do attitude".

I have also been telling myself the next goal is a marathon, and it sounds achievable for me now... and who knows... maybe an iron man triathlon is next! (That's a 2.4-mile (3.86 km) swim, a 112-mile (180.25 km) bike ride followed by a marathon (26 miles 385 yards, 42.195 km) run, raced in that order and without a break).

It's all about changing what you believe in yourself. Setting stretch goals, pushing yourself and being consistent in application and results follow.

Passion Test

Last night I finished doing a passion test. It's easy enough to do for yourself and it's interesting becasue it gets you thinking about exactly what it is you love to do.

1. Simply write your passions on individual 3x5 cards - one passion per card.
2. Then compare two at a time and decide which you are more passionate about.
3. Keep cycling through until you have put in order from most to least your passions.

It was most illuminating. I was quite surprised how my passions are different to where I'm spending my time... and actaully quite different to where I had planned to spend my time.

Time to re-organize!

Living My Dream

I'm instructing a Dale Carnegie in Red Deer that stared last night. As I drove home at around 10pm, it was late and I was tired, but I was wired. The reason - I'm living my dream. It struck me that after years and years of doing something for someone else and getting little satisfaction, I am now doing what I've always dreamed of doing.

It's a great feeling, because I know so many people who dread going to work, but I love my work. My time is precious and I'm spending it the way I want to. Being out late until 10pm isn't ideal, but it doesn't feel like work.

When I think back to just over a year ago when I started taking the Dale Carnegie Course, I didn't think that a year later I would be working for them and training a class. In fact I know that when I sat in the class as a Marketing Manager, becoming a Corporate Trainer seemed like such a leap that I had no idea how I would get there. Now I realize that you don't necessarily need to see all the steps, so long as you can visualize the direction.

Life changes very quickly when you make it happen. I committed to doing whatever it would take to change my life and now, here I am. Anything's possible.

Trapped (Published Article)

One of my new year’s resolutions was to read books I have on my shelf that somehow remain unread. It’s part of my de-cluttering and simplifying of my life. I have just finished Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.

It’s a well-known story of Anne Frank, a young Jewish girl in hiding from 1942 to 1944 with seven other people in a “secret annexe” – secret rooms above an office in Amsterdam. Because their survival relied on as few people as possible knowing that they were there, they had to remain silent throughout the days, not even using water, which might alert the office-workers below that people were hiding upstairs. Every day they worried they could be discovered and taken by the Nazis. To survive they relied on hoping for the war to end and the Nazis to be defeated.

What made me think was how these people were trapped in this life. Anne had been such a friendly, sociable person but was restricted to being friends with the seven others in hiding, two of whom were her parents and one her sister. I started to think about our lives and how we too are trapped – not physically but mentally. Anne was trapped because of her race and the horrible war situation, but how many of us are trapped in our own world. We’re trapped inside our comfort zone.

The limits that exist in our life are the ones we place on ourselves. In general people hold themselves back more often in life because of a lack of confidence than a lack of potential or ability.

Take a moment to think about your life and what you do regularly. How often do you push yourself to the point of being scared or uncomfortable? How often do you try new activities or attempt something that you’ve previously been unsuccessful at?

If you’re not pushing yourself and striving to do new and scary things then you’re not expanding your comfort zone. And the unfortunate part of that is that if it’s not expanding it’s contracting. As children we spend every day expanding our comfort zones and skill levels. Just watch a one-year-old learn to walk. There’s a period of instability, many falls and bumps into table corners but with every injury comes a stronger resolve to try again and become better. Eventually the children master the skill of walking and begin to run and jump. We take walking for granted but there was a point in our life when, as we lay on our stomachs licking dust off the carpet, it may have seemed like an impossible dream.

Somehow as adults we change and stop at the first failure or sign of failure. It appears that the encouraging environment that children grow up in evaporates as adults don’t seem to believe that encouragement is still relevant.

People need encouragement and they need to dream and have people support their dreams. Donald Trump sees that the difference between himself and others is that he thinks big. “I have to think anyway, so I might as well think big.”

Within a positive environment we feel safe thinking big and chasing our goals. Within a supportive environment we feel it is okay to fail along the way. Within an open and loving environment we recognize that we all face similar challenges and have similar worries and concerns and that we’re all here to help each other.

Unlike Anne Frank we are not forced to be a prisoner. Let’s not be imprisoned by self-imposed limits. Throw caution to the wind, take a risk - that leap of faith. Recognize that anything’s possible.

For friends...

On Sunday I spent 9 hours at a friend's place painting this mural on their two-year-old son's bedroom wall. They're expecting a second child in a few months and their son is moving into this room to make way for the new addition. The boy loves Thomas the Tank Engine and wanted this for his room, and with my painting experience and having also painted a mural for my own children's bedroom I was confident I could get the job done.

Amber, the boy's mother, helped me with the mural and we worked well together as a team. Though it was a lot of work and I was quite tired at the end of it all, it was very enjoyable and very satisfying.

I realise what an awesome gift I was able to give them and their son, because there will be years of enjoyment that they will get from the mural. It's amazing how a gift that took nine hours to give can create such a lasting enjoyment.

Those are the gifts that have tremendous value. What's interesting is that is cost me nothing, yet it has a lot more value than any gift we have given them or their son.

Time is valuable, when we value it. When we can do good things with our time and give our time to others we can have a huge effect on them.

What is also interesting is the positive feeling I now have from creating this for them, and the strengthening of our friendship as a result.

Resolutions (Published Article)

At the beginning of the year so many people make resolutions... to lose weight, to get fit, to change jobs, to find a partner. It’s why gyms across the city are packed with people in January and February on a quest to shed some of the Christmas pounds. But why are the gyms returning to normal usage by March and April? Why is it that so many people don’t follow through on their new year resolutions? I’m as guilty as the next person for not following through on some of these goals.

Often a lack of time is blamed... or life gets in the way.

But, honestly, what is the reality? The reality is that the goal was not a high enough priority. I don't buy the reason that “there isn’t enough time”. We have all the time we’re ever going to have. We cannot create more time. We can make more time for the things that are of a high priority.

Let me give you an example. You may “not have time” to go to the gym today, but you do have time to work late, visit friends, watch television, go shopping or attend an evening course etc. I only use the example of going to the gym because it seems to be one of the most common resolutions.

So how can you make a new year resolution become a part of who you are, to become a new habit?

When NASA was first preparing its astronauts for space they were concerned of how the convex lens of their helmets would cause disorientation. So they had the would-be astronauts wear convex goggles which made everything appear upside down. After 21 days the astronauts’ minds had flipped the image back so that everything appeared normal even though they were still wearing the goggles. For a group of the astronauts they removed the goggles for one day on day 17, and found that for the mind to flip the images the 21 day period started all over again, even though the habit was broken for just one day.

From this we can conclude that it takes a minimum of three consecutive weeks of doing a new task before it becomes a habit. Make that four weeks to be on the safe side.

What stops people from doing something consistently for just three or four weeks? The answer - a decent reason. If the reason is not important enough and the want is not great enough then why would anyone do something different?

It’s about creating a strong reason, backed up with feeling, emotion and a concrete desire to change. It’s about creating a vision for where you want to get to. Seeing that vision clearly in your mind’s eye and having a knowing that you will get there. It’s about moving yourself towards that vision without hesitation and making time for it, because it is the highest priority. Any resolution with power needs to be a stepping stone to fulfilling the vision you have for yourself. If it’s part of your big plan then you’ll have reason to strive to achieve it.

One thing you’ll also know is that if things get uncomfortable, then you are moving yourself forward. When you are uncomfortable you are working outside your comfort zone and expanding it.

So, know where you want to get to. See that clearly in your mind. Visualize it every day. Set resolutions or goals that will propel you there and follow through every day and your life will change!

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller 1880-1968

Let it snow!

Spending some Christmas time up in Edmonton, Alberta with the family and it's been snowing quite a bit. As a driver I find the snow inconvenient as it makes the roads slippery and less safe. With the snow comes cold weather, something that may also be unwanted.

However, everything in life affects us how we want it to. For some people snow represents the end of warm summer, for others it's the start of the exciting skiing season, for others it represents potential earnings in the form of snow clearing. It may signify the start of the Christmas season, something so many people look forward to.

Whatever the snow means for you, I hope it's positive. If it isn't then maybe it's time to re-frame your thoughts, especially if you live in a climate that has a lot of snow, like Canada's!

With everything and every day in life you have two choices, to make the best of it... or not.

Christmas Gifts

It's just a few days from Christmas now, and I was reflecting the other day on the whole theory of gift giving. With two young children we have gifts to give them, but as I thought about the best gifts I have received in my life, not one of them came wrapped in paper.

As concerned parents we find ourselves is discussions with other parents on the merits of certain pre-schools and educational philosophies, how much television children should watch and whether computer games with violence should be allowed. There are so many details that can be argued for and against.

When I think of what's important and what will carry our children forward to live a long and happy life, the details are quite insignificant. I feel it's the big things that matter when parenting. There's no way my wife and I will make all the right decisions on the details, but we can ensure we do the big things well.

As I see it there are three gifts we as parents need to give to our children. These gifts are not given once, but are continually given over a lifetime.

The first is unconditional love. Unconditional love is the solid foundation on which a steady life can be built. Unconditional love is love that is shown and demonstrated no matter what happens. Unconditional love is shown in the most trying situations, for example, when a family heirloom is broken, when the car has been written off or when failing grades appear in a report card. Unconditional love is the knowledge that someone is loved for who they are, not what they do or what they have. Unconditional love is something you carry with you everywhere you go as a protective shield against any potential harm. Unconditional love by its very nature is never lost... it is unconditional.

The second is the ability to think. And I don't mean this in the simplest form, for example if I said, "Think of a number between one and a hundred" I'm sure anyone could do that. That's not the thinking I'm referring to. Thinking is coming up with a solution to a problem. Thinking is inventing, creating. Thinking is deciding that you don't accept everything as it is but questioning why. Asking questions like, "Why are there so many species of tree? Why is the sky blue? Why do people get jealous? Why do people voluntarily put themselves in harm's way? The ability to think comes from the time and opportunity to do so. The less children are "fed" what to think and the more they are encouraged to create their own thoughts, the better the thinking muscle will be developed and the greater their ability to survive in an ever-changing world.

The third, and by no means any less important than the other two is faith. I don't mean religious faith, but faith in oneself. It's the faith in knowing that everything will turn out for the best because I am in control of my destiny. It's the faith in being able to rely on yourself to get the job done. It's the faith that whatever you do will result in success eventually. It's that inner knowing that you will have life full of triumphs. It's knowing that no matter what happens you can always bounce back stronger and even if you can't see the way forward it will present itself.

It's that knowing, supported by the unconditional love and coupled with the wherewithal to discover answers through clear thinking that forms a potent and unstoppable force for personal success.

Really, when you think about the trivialities that fill our time, there are but a few fundamentals that make it all happen in life. These are the greatest gifts of all.

Expectations (Published Article)

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…” so the tune goes. It seems that Christmas begins the day after Halloween, with the decorations, the music and all the paraphernalia that goes with it. And certainly it’s a fun time of year.

In fact the remarkable part of all this is that Christmas itself is in fact just one day. Actually for most people, the way it’s celebrated, it really is only an evening. Amazing then that we should spend nearly two months looking forward to it. Two months of thinking about people to buy for, two months of writing Christmas cards, two months of calculating a budget for everything and then spending double that…

It reminds me of another day that people historically spend an awfully long time and a lot of resources planning for – the wedding day. It will never cease to amaze me that people can spend a year planning for a wedding, yet funerals, which often are just as large gatherings can be organized in a week.

Anyway, I digress! In addition to the “looking forward” to Christmas there’s also the tremendous energy and resources that go into it. For those who work in the retail environment, it’s not the most fun time at all. With harried shoppers darting around, crowds of desperate people looking for the one special gift, and complaining people waiting too long for service, it all adds up to something less than “special”.

Then there’s the financial investment. Far too many household budgets get blown to smithereens in December each year. Children get spoiled, and many unnecessary purchases are made.

It seems that every year with all the preparations, for most people Christmas doesn’t really have a hope of living up to those expectations. When so much focus is put on a single event for an extended period of time, there’s bound to be disappointment. For many families, Christmas is yet another family celebration, with the usual conversations, the usual politics and the usual presents. But we fool ourselves into thinking that this year it will be different.

So why do we do this? We’re intelligent creatures? Isn’t doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result the definition of insanity?

The interesting part of this is that by having a focus in the future, we have no need to pay attention to what’s happening today. We “drug” ourselves with the hopes and dreams of tomorrow, to delay the inevitable need of dealing with today. And this trick is everywhere in our lives. We are constantly looking forward, putting energy into the weekend, the next holiday, a party… anything, but not into the only thing we have – NOW.

If we put the same effort into enjoying today as much as we put into our hopes for the future, today would be so much better that we wouldn’t be so worried about tomorrow. We likely wouldn’t have the same personal issues, struggles or problems, because we would have dealt with them rather than ignore them and focus on the future. In turn we might find ourselves in a happier, more loving and financially secure place.

Think about putting the same effort into every day as you put into December 25th. It is when we live our life with enthusiasm for every moment that we have truly found a gift. Hence the line from another well-know Christmas song, “If every day could be just like Christmas, what a wonderful world it would be!”

Success is getting what you want.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

As Is (Published Article)

There’s a small room in the massive Ikea store that houses “as is” items. These are pieces of furniture and accessories that have some defect or problem and cannot be sold on the floor. They are relegated to the “as is” room and sold at a discount to the regular retail price. This is the last stop. If they don’t sell quickly here they get discounted even further until they finally do go.

My point here is not to give Ikea a free advertisement, but to think about the thought process that goes into purchasing an item “as is”. When you do that, you accept its flaws. If you buy a table and it has a big scratch on it, you’ve accepted the scratch and purchased it anyway, because essentially you’ve got a bargain.

This works out well for both buyer and seller, because the seller has got rid of a problem and the buyer has found a great deal…

Well… it is a great deal if you’re happy with the scratch. If you truly have accepted the flaw then it is a great deal. If, however, you have a change of heart after you’ve brought the table home and realize that you can’t live with that scratch, it’s now become a problem. What are the solutions? A tablecloth… get an expert to sand and re-finish the surface… paint it?
I can see you saying, “So who cares? I’m not an “as is” shopper.”

Maybe you don’t buy furniture as is, but we are all in relationships or friendships, and like it or not these are as is. When I married my wife it was forever and ever, till death do us part etc… as is! There’s nothing in the vows that says that a husband or wife has to change drastically to become Mister or Mrs. Right after the wedding day, although that’s what a lot of people expect.

Is it fair to expect someone to become someone they never were just because now you married them?

We marry for better or worse… or so we promise.

Now I’m not saying that people don’t or can’t change, but it’s the expectation. When you truly love someone you accept them for who they are, warts and all… as is. The current epidemic of plastic surgery is a testimony to the fact that people don’t accept themselves and others as is, and try to become, or at least appear like someone they aren’t.

If you’re not happy with what you married you have two choices that can lead to greater happiness. Learn to accept and be thankful for what you have and look for the positives, or get out of the relationship.

People do change but it’s voluntary. No one can force change on someone else. Essentially every individual has to determine the path they want to take and make decisions to lead themselves there. People will influence those decisions but the decision for change lies within.
In any situation you have the opportunity to look at yourself and ask, “how did I get myself here?” Whether you like where you’re at or not, you had a hand in getting yourself there. If you want to be somewhere else, then you’ll need to make different decisions to get there.

If you’re in a situation that you’re unhappy with as is, then either make the change in your attitude towards it, or make the change in your actions. Just think…

If it is to be it is up to me.

The Comfort Zone

We often think of the Comfort Zone as our friend, the place where everything is good, and we get that warm and fuzzy feeling.

As time goes on this year, I realize how much of my life I have lived in a comfort zone, and how it isn't beneficial to my overall happiness. The reason I guess I fooled myself, or convinced myself that I was living out my dreams was because I now recognize that my comfort zone is bigger than many people's. The error I've made, however is to use this comparison as a justification for what I'm doing.

Let me be specific here. I've been in the work-force for a little over eleven years. No, I'll correct that. It's been a little over eleven years since I finished my university education. I have not worked every year since then.

When I look at what I've done in those eleven years, it includes working in billboard sales, in four different companies' marketing departments, the last time as the Marketing Manager, at and advertising agency and as a Tour Manager for Contiki in western Europe.

Since graduating I've lived five years in Australia, 18 months in Europe and five years in Canada.

I'm very happily married for nearly five years and have two beautiful daughters.

But it wasn't until this year that I started to get out of my comfort zone. It was the first time in as long as I can remember that I REALLY got nervous - when I started to become a Trainer for Dale Carnegie. And as I begin now to work for Dale Carnegie in a sales capacity, I realize that this is also stretching my comfort zone again.

So I was thinking today while I was working out at the gym, what I may have accomplished in the last eleven years had I really stretched myself out of my comfort zone. When I read articles about successful people, I know that I could have done what they did... but haven't.

This year has shone a light on how easily I've managed to coast along, albeit at a steady rate and with progress, but actually not enough progress to keep me excited and fulfilled.

In my dreams last night I realized that I've been holding myself back with negative self-talk - that little voice in my head that says "I can't..." When I know that all I have to say is "Give it a go. Just do it." and the rest will take care of itself.

It's time for me, and for everyone who wants to achieve their goals to throw fear out the window and let loose. Be fearless! It's only when we act in the face of fear that we will progress our life forward.

The Comfort Zone is not our friend, it is actually an insidious enemy that keeps us from achieving our dreams and finding true happiness.

Living A Deliberate Life (Published Article)

Take a moment to reflect on your life, and think of at least one time when you achieved something significant. You set a goal, made a plan, and dedicated time to achieving that goal. You worked hard, and eventually you did it. Maybe you set a fitness goal like running a marathon, or a professional goal to get a promotion or to work in a particular company or field. Maybe personally you set yourself goals to meet people and make friends. Whatever it was, reflect on that success for a moment.

Now think about the rest of your life, and whether it follows the same guided path that you took on that occasion. If you’re like most people, your life looks a lot less deliberate.
Unfortunately many of us live in this “accidental life” mode all the time. When we get in that mode we tend to rely on good luck, and good things happening, rather than making them happen. I do have a lot of good luck in my life, but I work very hard to get it, and I expect to get it.

You know the feeling of driving somewhere out of the usual, but you started to drive somewhere else - to a place you regularly drive. Suddenly you realize that you’re on auto-pilot.

To live a deliberate life, the first thing we need to do is become conscious and get out of auto-pilot mode. Auto-pilot is good for a lot of things, but if we make important decisions in auto-pilot mode, we can just drift along in our life and not get to where we want to go.

It’s easier to live unconsciously and “go with the flow”, but it lowers your expectations and in turn will lower your results. In life we generally get what we expect to get.

A conscious life will bring you what you want because you will know what you want and you will focus your energy towards getting it.

The first step to becoming conscious is to slow down and take some deep breaths… literally! Meditating, praying or creating quiet time without any distractions is the first step to becoming more aware. This isn’t something that should be done once, but regularly – every day if possible.

The second is to ask questions. There’s one really good question, asked over and over to help you get to the root of the issue. Answered honestly it will help you find your true motives. It’s the one little children like to ask over and over because they are living consciously – “Why?”

For example:

Why am I unfit? I don’t exercise enough.
Why don’t I exercise enough? I don’t have time, because I am so busy at work.
Why am I so busy at work? I take on more than I can handle.
Why do I take on more than I can handle? I don’t like saying “No”.
Why don’t I like saying “No”? I’m afraid I might get fired
Why am I afraid I might get fired? Because my Dad got fired when I was young, and we had to go without for a while.

Acting upon those motives is the last but crucial step. Ask yourself similar questions beginning with “How can I…” if you want to help yourself with ideas for taking action.

No action is like having an electric oven, but no electricity. The potential is there to make the best Thanksgiving dinner, but without electricity you might as well try cooking your roast in a cardboard box.

Florence Chadwick

Florence May Chadwick was born November 9, 1918 and died March 15, 1995. She was an American swimmer who was the first woman ever to cross the English Channel both ways.

On August 8, 1950, she crossed the English Channel in 13 hours and 20 minutes, breaking the then-current world record held by American swimmer Gertrude Ederle. One year later, Chadwick crossed the English Channel yet again, from England to France; this time, in 16 hours and 22 minutes, thus making her the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions.

On the fourth of July 1952, Florence, now 34, had set her goal at being the first woman to swim the 26 miles between Catalina Island and the California coastline. As she began this historical journey, she was flanked by small boats that watched for sharks and were prepared to help her if she got hurt or grew tired. Hour after hour Florence swam, but after about 15 hours, a thick, heavy fog set in. Florence began to doubt her ability, and she told her mother, who was in one of the boats, that she didn’t think she could make it.

Her mother and her trainer continued to offer encouragement. They told her it wasn't much further, but all she could see was fog. They urged her not to quit.

She never had . . . until then.

As she sat in the boat, Florence found out she had stopped swimming less than one mile away from the California shoreline. Florence explained that she quit because she could no longer see the coastline-there was too much fog. She couldn’t see her goal.

Two months later, Florence got back in the water to try her task once more. This time was different. She swam from Catalina Island to the shore of California in a straight path for 26 miles. The same thick fog set in, but Florence made it because she said that while she swam, she kept a mental image of the shoreline in her mind. Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel, eclipsing the men's record by two hours!

She didn’t lose sight of the shore because she focused on that image of the coast in her mind, and in this way, she reached her goal.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller 1880-1968

Failures (Published Article)

A number of years ago there was a Nike commercial on television with Michael Jordan. As he walked through a dimly-lit corridor, Jordan’s voice comes on:

I've missed over nine thousand shots in my career.
I've lost almost three hundred games.
Twenty-six times I've been trusted with the game-winning shot... and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
And that is why I succeed.

There are few people in this world who can say they have been more successful at anything than Michael Jordan was at basketball.

Life can be a struggle sometimes, and there are many times where things don't seem to go our way. Those are precisely the times when we need to take a step back and look at what is happening and find the lesson.

Our society mentality has become one of “keeping up with the Joneses”, and hand-in-hand with this is the strive for perfection or at least to appear perfect.

But perfection is an unattainable illusion. Nothing on Earth is perfect, and nobody is perfect, because perfection is a perception, which is subjective. What’s perfect for me, may be a disaster for someone else. In any case, everything is imperfect, and that’s why there’s evolution and change. Everything is always getting better or worse, so by definition it couldn’t have been perfect.

The people who spend the most time trying for perfection are the ones who spend the most time covering the realities in their life. They do this because it’s far easier to cover up than it is to actually face the fault and deal with it.

Imagine a house with rotten wood framing. Quickly covering over it with drywall is a far easier prospect than actually remediating the issue, although on the surface it might look the same.
Nevertheless, we’re told that perfection is the way to go, and as humans we look for the quickest and easiest way to the goal.

Society tells us that perfection is having children who are involved in five after-school activities; living in the perfect neighbourhood with the perfect picket fence and driving the perfect European vehicle into our pristine garage. You get the idea.

But what’s the point?

Being perfect doesn’t allow for mistakes, because perfect people don’t make mistakes. Not giving ourselves the freedom to make mistakes means that we aren’t giving ourselves room to learn.

When we fool ourselves into believing that we are always right, that we have “arrived” and that we know everything, it spells disaster, because it means we will stop learning and growing.
So what does this mean for the average person?

Do you know someone who “knows it all”. Where do these people end up? Usually making the same mistakes over and over and progressing very little if at all in their lives. Financial success does not mean success in every facet of life. You don’t need to look far to see wealthy people with dysfunctional home lives. But you can also just as easily find poor people who are tremendously happy with what they have.

No matter what age you’re at, it’s important to take a chance, take the road less travelled and put yourself on the line. Recognize that a “failure” is nothing more than an undesirable outcome from which you can learn.

Succeeding in life is not about being perfect. Successful people aren’t perfect. Successful people are prepared to fail and keep trying. We’re lucky Michael Jordan didn’t stop playing after losing his first game.

Tiger Woods

This weekend Tiger Woods completed his fourth victory at the PGA Championship, his 13th Major, and his 59th victory on the PGA Tour. The big thing is that it's his 13th Major title in his chase of Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 Major titles.

An article in the local newspaper here commented that he is only five majors short of Nicklaus' record. What's interesting about that "only", is that only 13 golfers have won more than five majors in their entire career. Some notables who won five or less include: Seve Ballesteros (5), James Braid (5), Byron Nelson (5) Peter Thomson (5) Raymond Floyd (4), Ernie Els (3) Hale Irwin (3), Phil Mickelson (3), Nick Price (3), Vijay Singh (3), Payne Stewart (3) and Greg Norman (2).

Each one of these players was or is an amazingly talented golfer in his time. All reached the pinnacle of golfing excellence more than once. Even racking up five majors as Seve Ballesteros or the legendary Byron Nelson did in an entire career is mentioned as an "only" in the Tiger Woods realm of golf.

Tiger Woods is only in his early thirties and already has a career that would be impressive for a dozen golfers to share equally - five PGA wins, including a major each!

Look at his current world golf ranking below:

1. Woods 22.10
2. Furyk 8.69
3. Mickelson 8.44
4. Els 7.67
5. Scott 6.48
6. Harrington 6.23
7. Singh 5.88
8. Garcia 5.53
9. Ogilvy 5.49
10. Stenson 5.30

Tiger Woods is so far ahead of the #2 ranked player it's almost embarrassing. In fact the players ranked fourth, fifth and sixth have a combined total number of ranking points less than Tiger alone. Tiger almost outpoints the seventh to tenth ranked quartet.

It's truly amazing.

But what we can all learn from this is that hard work pays off. You only need to look at Tiger's physique compared to the other golfers to see that he spends more time strengthening his muscles than the rest. There's no overhang on his belt, no double chin or loose flesh on his body. For all the people who joke that golf is a a sport just as much as chess and darts should be considered a sport, Tiger gives it credibility.

No one works harder on every aspect of golf than Tiger Woods, and his professionalism is second to none. Tiger has a vision and he expects only the best of himself. And as his record shows, he invariably gets the results.