Living A Deliberate Life (Published Article)

Take a moment to reflect on your life, and think of at least one time when you achieved something significant. You set a goal, made a plan, and dedicated time to achieving that goal. You worked hard, and eventually you did it. Maybe you set a fitness goal like running a marathon, or a professional goal to get a promotion or to work in a particular company or field. Maybe personally you set yourself goals to meet people and make friends. Whatever it was, reflect on that success for a moment.

Now think about the rest of your life, and whether it follows the same guided path that you took on that occasion. If you’re like most people, your life looks a lot less deliberate.
Unfortunately many of us live in this “accidental life” mode all the time. When we get in that mode we tend to rely on good luck, and good things happening, rather than making them happen. I do have a lot of good luck in my life, but I work very hard to get it, and I expect to get it.

You know the feeling of driving somewhere out of the usual, but you started to drive somewhere else - to a place you regularly drive. Suddenly you realize that you’re on auto-pilot.

To live a deliberate life, the first thing we need to do is become conscious and get out of auto-pilot mode. Auto-pilot is good for a lot of things, but if we make important decisions in auto-pilot mode, we can just drift along in our life and not get to where we want to go.

It’s easier to live unconsciously and “go with the flow”, but it lowers your expectations and in turn will lower your results. In life we generally get what we expect to get.

A conscious life will bring you what you want because you will know what you want and you will focus your energy towards getting it.

The first step to becoming conscious is to slow down and take some deep breaths… literally! Meditating, praying or creating quiet time without any distractions is the first step to becoming more aware. This isn’t something that should be done once, but regularly – every day if possible.

The second is to ask questions. There’s one really good question, asked over and over to help you get to the root of the issue. Answered honestly it will help you find your true motives. It’s the one little children like to ask over and over because they are living consciously – “Why?”

For example:

Why am I unfit? I don’t exercise enough.
Why don’t I exercise enough? I don’t have time, because I am so busy at work.
Why am I so busy at work? I take on more than I can handle.
Why do I take on more than I can handle? I don’t like saying “No”.
Why don’t I like saying “No”? I’m afraid I might get fired
Why am I afraid I might get fired? Because my Dad got fired when I was young, and we had to go without for a while.

Acting upon those motives is the last but crucial step. Ask yourself similar questions beginning with “How can I…” if you want to help yourself with ideas for taking action.

No action is like having an electric oven, but no electricity. The potential is there to make the best Thanksgiving dinner, but without electricity you might as well try cooking your roast in a cardboard box.

I am Canadian

At around 11:30am on September 21st, 2007 I officially became a Canadian citizen! Hurray!

Florence Chadwick

Florence May Chadwick was born November 9, 1918 and died March 15, 1995. She was an American swimmer who was the first woman ever to cross the English Channel both ways.

On August 8, 1950, she crossed the English Channel in 13 hours and 20 minutes, breaking the then-current world record held by American swimmer Gertrude Ederle. One year later, Chadwick crossed the English Channel yet again, from England to France; this time, in 16 hours and 22 minutes, thus making her the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions.

On the fourth of July 1952, Florence, now 34, had set her goal at being the first woman to swim the 26 miles between Catalina Island and the California coastline. As she began this historical journey, she was flanked by small boats that watched for sharks and were prepared to help her if she got hurt or grew tired. Hour after hour Florence swam, but after about 15 hours, a thick, heavy fog set in. Florence began to doubt her ability, and she told her mother, who was in one of the boats, that she didn’t think she could make it.

Her mother and her trainer continued to offer encouragement. They told her it wasn't much further, but all she could see was fog. They urged her not to quit.

She never had . . . until then.

As she sat in the boat, Florence found out she had stopped swimming less than one mile away from the California shoreline. Florence explained that she quit because she could no longer see the coastline-there was too much fog. She couldn’t see her goal.

Two months later, Florence got back in the water to try her task once more. This time was different. She swam from Catalina Island to the shore of California in a straight path for 26 miles. The same thick fog set in, but Florence made it because she said that while she swam, she kept a mental image of the shoreline in her mind. Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel, eclipsing the men's record by two hours!

She didn’t lose sight of the shore because she focused on that image of the coast in her mind, and in this way, she reached her goal.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller 1880-1968

The Greatest Lesson of All

So often these days people rate their level of success by a few key criteria - job position, annual income, size of house, location of house, size of television, value of car(s) etc. Success for many is represented by what you can see they own.

For me success equals happiness. So, success at work is happiness at work. Personal success means happiness at home. I recently heard a definition for success that I liked, and it goes something like this...

"Success is waking up in the morning eager to go to work, being excited to return home at the end of the day and being welcome at both places."

Right now I'm in the middle of a seven-week break from working. I call myself semi-retired, although I will start working again in October. It has been an awesome time because it has given me time to spend with the family, and fully recharge my batteries for work, and rediscover my hunger to succeed in a professional capacity that had slowly dwindled over the last few years.

Being at home has also allowed me to be more hands on as a parent, and again a great learning experience. Children have the knack of highlighting weaknesses and make you realize how people of ever age have a habit of behaving childishly.

Many people have been asking us whether Vienna, our 22 month old daughter, is feeling misplaced or displaced with Delilah's arrival. We have heard many horror stories from parents whose first child gets very upset by the arrival of the younger sibling. Where the first child was once the star attraction, he or she, through no fault of their own, gets relegated to be the warm-up act.

Actually Vienna seems to be doing very well with the adjustments. We have been reinforcing from the very beginning that this is Vienna's baby. That seems to have given her ownership of her new sister and made her feel more responsible for helping and being a good "big sister".

Her behaviour is similar to that of adults whose lives are suddenly changed at work or home. If they aren't supported and given the appropriate recognition, they often times lose interest and if the feelings are widespread enough in an organization that would mean a serious deterioration in morale.

Vienna has been very helpful and likes to assist one of the parents in diaper changing for Delilah. Vienna will fetch and unfold the clean diaper and dispose of the dirty one for us.

Vienna is also often on hand to give supportive kisses to Delilah.

It has been a lot of fun over the past two weeks having a new baby, but also seeing Vienna as a big sister. Vienna surprises us constantly with her understanding and maturity.

Having children is the greatest lesson of all.

As Cute As Ever!

Over the past couple of weeks a lot of the focus has been on our new daughter Delilah. However, it is so important that we don't forget our special almost two-year-old Vienna. She has been such a good big sister and is still as cute as ever!

The Hand That Feeds Us

I've noticed a theme starting to emerge with some of my paintings. This is the fifth painting I have completed that depicts a hand, and I've painted a few with the theme of the environment.

This is a picture of the "Hand That Feeds Us" - the Earth. Within this Earth there are many riches, and the helping hand is always out there for us, but we are chopping it off one small piece at a time, not realizing that we are irreversibly making drastic changes.

Lamborghini Countach

As a young boy, my dream cars were a Porsche 911 and a Lamborghini Countach. So you can imagine my excitement at seeing this Countach at the airport parking lot.

Maybe this will be Vienna's dream car... by the time she's old enough to drive it might be affordable!

On The Right Team

Poppy

I started painting this on the 2nd September, but didn't get it finished because Delilah was born. I did manage to get the last half hour finished on the fifth!

A New Addition

At 9:11pm on September 2nd, Delilah Ieva came into this world, our second daughter. She weighed in at 8lbs 3/4 oz and measured 21 inches long. She's happy and healthy and we're all getting on well as a slightly larger and slightly louder family.