Happy Halloween!

As an Australian, I never celebrated Halloween - not for any religious reasons, but because Halloween is not part of the Australian culture... or should I say, the Australian retailers haven't worked out how lucrative it can be.

I must say that I was amazed when I first came to Canada how much the shops get involved with Halloween paraphernalia. Even Shoppers Drug Mart had an aisle dedicated.

But as a Canadian citizen I choose to get involved, and especially since we now have children, i can see it being a lot of fun for them too.

Every year I've been carving pumpkins, and this year I carved Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Then, tonight for the very first time ever I went trick-or-treating. Yes, I'm in my thirties and I trick-or-treated for the first time!! I went with my daughter Vienna, who celebrated her 2nd birthday on October 29th. She went as a bear and I carried the bag of goodies.

We didn't teach her trick or treat, so she said "please" with her little hands outstretched, "thank you" (which sounds more like "fafu") when she received the goodies, and "roar" on cue when the people asked what she was.

It was awesome!

I must say that I always looked at Halloween as a money grab for the shops and another time to unnecessarily spend money, but I had so much fun with Vienna that I now think it should be a part of every child's upbringing.

As Is (Published Article)

There’s a small room in the massive Ikea store that houses “as is” items. These are pieces of furniture and accessories that have some defect or problem and cannot be sold on the floor. They are relegated to the “as is” room and sold at a discount to the regular retail price. This is the last stop. If they don’t sell quickly here they get discounted even further until they finally do go.

My point here is not to give Ikea a free advertisement, but to think about the thought process that goes into purchasing an item “as is”. When you do that, you accept its flaws. If you buy a table and it has a big scratch on it, you’ve accepted the scratch and purchased it anyway, because essentially you’ve got a bargain.

This works out well for both buyer and seller, because the seller has got rid of a problem and the buyer has found a great deal…

Well… it is a great deal if you’re happy with the scratch. If you truly have accepted the flaw then it is a great deal. If, however, you have a change of heart after you’ve brought the table home and realize that you can’t live with that scratch, it’s now become a problem. What are the solutions? A tablecloth… get an expert to sand and re-finish the surface… paint it?
I can see you saying, “So who cares? I’m not an “as is” shopper.”

Maybe you don’t buy furniture as is, but we are all in relationships or friendships, and like it or not these are as is. When I married my wife it was forever and ever, till death do us part etc… as is! There’s nothing in the vows that says that a husband or wife has to change drastically to become Mister or Mrs. Right after the wedding day, although that’s what a lot of people expect.

Is it fair to expect someone to become someone they never were just because now you married them?

We marry for better or worse… or so we promise.

Now I’m not saying that people don’t or can’t change, but it’s the expectation. When you truly love someone you accept them for who they are, warts and all… as is. The current epidemic of plastic surgery is a testimony to the fact that people don’t accept themselves and others as is, and try to become, or at least appear like someone they aren’t.

If you’re not happy with what you married you have two choices that can lead to greater happiness. Learn to accept and be thankful for what you have and look for the positives, or get out of the relationship.

People do change but it’s voluntary. No one can force change on someone else. Essentially every individual has to determine the path they want to take and make decisions to lead themselves there. People will influence those decisions but the decision for change lies within.
In any situation you have the opportunity to look at yourself and ask, “how did I get myself here?” Whether you like where you’re at or not, you had a hand in getting yourself there. If you want to be somewhere else, then you’ll need to make different decisions to get there.

If you’re in a situation that you’re unhappy with as is, then either make the change in your attitude towards it, or make the change in your actions. Just think…

If it is to be it is up to me.

Books to read...

These aren't my words, but I found them useful, especially since I like to read books that will increase my personal growth, so I thought this might be interesting to add to my blog.

Sean Wise is the Globe's monthly entrepreneurship and venture capital columnist.

Business Bibles

SEAN WISE

Globe and Mail Update

August 29, 2007 at 2:25 PM EDT

I started my life as an Entrepreneur at the ripe old age of 13. Since that time, I've without a doubt read hundreds of books on entrepreneurship, venture capital, angel investing, innovation and business leadership.

• Often I'm asked to recommend some of the best to those looking to get a jump on their entrepreneurial education. So without further ado, here's my list:
• The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton
• The Monk who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma
• Getting Things Done by David Allan

The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki

This is the book I wish I wrote. Kawasaki, bestselling author on more than a half dozen business books, outlines the what, the why and most of all the how of starting a new venture. This book covers topics including but not limited to:

• The Art of Raising Capital
• The Art of Pitching
• The Art of Bootstrapping
• The Art of Recruiting
• The Art of Being a Mensch

The former Chief Evangelist for Apple and founder of ultra successful seed fund, Silicon Valley's Garage Ventures, has taken the blogosphere by storm these last few years, expanding his early works and leveraging his network to share insights. Kawasaki is often controversial, and sometimes arrogant, but his lessons are almost always extremely valuable. For those reasons, Kawasaki is a must read for all founders and funders.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This was actually the first business book I read. The book has been a bestseller since the 1930s, and is still valuable even if some of the examples are slightly dated.Carnegie extols the virtues of putting yourself in the shoes of others before speaking or taking action. He also shares: why smiling is still the best (and most cost effective) form of customer service; the secret for getting any job (a secret I've successfully used many times); and how to increase employee satisfaction without increasing costs. My favorite lesson - and one I work at each and every day: Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain.

Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton

If Carnegie's tome helps to minimize conflict, William's and Ury's treatise on negotiation theory sets out a process which, if followed, ensure efficient negotiation and effective conflict mitigation. This great book was required reading while I was in law school and helped bring terms like BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement — i.e. what is the next best case if you fail to resolve the matter) and WATNA (Worse Alternative to Negotiated Agreement — i.e. what is the biggest downside of not resolving the matter) to the forefront. Together, these terms help to clarify the boundaries of any disputed outcome. Whether you are going to ask for a raise or acquire a company, this is your requisite prior reading.

The Monk who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma

I was attracted to Sharma's work by our similar backgrounds. Both of us are Toronto based, washed-up lawyers, who have both found rejuvenation in writing. However, that's where the similarities end. Sharma has been a bestseller in more than 42 countries and sold more than 10 million copies of his first book, The Monk who Sold his Ferrari . Me? Not so many. On the plus side, I do have better hair than Robin, but that's about it. As for the book, it's a classic parable, helping readers to discover the true meaning of life (and it does). In this "always on", "24/7" world we live in, with ever blurring lines between work and life, this book is more relevant than ever. If you are searching for your purpose, looking to refocus, or just wondering "is there something more", I'd highly recommend this story.

Getting Things Done by David Allan

Do you have hundreds of emails waiting for your reply? A to-do list that gets bigger everyday? More meetings than there are hours in the day? Then Getting Things Done (or GTD as David Allan devotees refer to it) is what you NEED to read. Yes, NEED to Read. Sited as "the premiere text" for managing time in the modern world, this book outlines how to set and follow through on your priorities.

Allan's book has spawned a cult-like following amongst tech entrepreneurs the world over, some even going so far as to create free software to take Allan's GTD to the next level.Recently, I had the chance to have a "fireside chat" with David during one of Silicon Valley's "Under the Radar" events. If I wasn't convinced before of the value of Allan's program, one need only look to the legions of devotees that swarmed him after the interview, clamoring for autographs and pictures.

David Allan has become the rockstar of organization, and rightfully so. Some readers claim double or triple increases in their efficiency and huge decreases in work -related anxiety. If you feel overwhelmed by your INBOX, take a break and read this book.

The Bottom Line: A few months ago, I shared with readers Jiu-Jitsu Master Sensei Helio Gracie's secret to martial arts and life — always keep learning. If that makes sense to you — then grab one, two or all of the above texts, turn off your blackberry and improve your entrepreneurial life by reading a chapter a day.

Sunset Over The Mountains

This is an encaustic painting on plywood. 24" x 24". I really like the colours. It's so relaxing.

The Comfort Zone

We often think of the Comfort Zone as our friend, the place where everything is good, and we get that warm and fuzzy feeling.

As time goes on this year, I realize how much of my life I have lived in a comfort zone, and how it isn't beneficial to my overall happiness. The reason I guess I fooled myself, or convinced myself that I was living out my dreams was because I now recognize that my comfort zone is bigger than many people's. The error I've made, however is to use this comparison as a justification for what I'm doing.

Let me be specific here. I've been in the work-force for a little over eleven years. No, I'll correct that. It's been a little over eleven years since I finished my university education. I have not worked every year since then.

When I look at what I've done in those eleven years, it includes working in billboard sales, in four different companies' marketing departments, the last time as the Marketing Manager, at and advertising agency and as a Tour Manager for Contiki in western Europe.

Since graduating I've lived five years in Australia, 18 months in Europe and five years in Canada.

I'm very happily married for nearly five years and have two beautiful daughters.

But it wasn't until this year that I started to get out of my comfort zone. It was the first time in as long as I can remember that I REALLY got nervous - when I started to become a Trainer for Dale Carnegie. And as I begin now to work for Dale Carnegie in a sales capacity, I realize that this is also stretching my comfort zone again.

So I was thinking today while I was working out at the gym, what I may have accomplished in the last eleven years had I really stretched myself out of my comfort zone. When I read articles about successful people, I know that I could have done what they did... but haven't.

This year has shone a light on how easily I've managed to coast along, albeit at a steady rate and with progress, but actually not enough progress to keep me excited and fulfilled.

In my dreams last night I realized that I've been holding myself back with negative self-talk - that little voice in my head that says "I can't..." When I know that all I have to say is "Give it a go. Just do it." and the rest will take care of itself.

It's time for me, and for everyone who wants to achieve their goals to throw fear out the window and let loose. Be fearless! It's only when we act in the face of fear that we will progress our life forward.

The Comfort Zone is not our friend, it is actually an insidious enemy that keeps us from achieving our dreams and finding true happiness.

Weight Gain!!

It's amazing how quickly children grow! Our new daughter Delilah weighed in at a tick over eight pounds when she was born. 32 days later she's a whopping eleven pounds. That's a 37% weight gain in just a month! And unlike most women, she hasn't gained it in her thighs and bum, it seems to have all gone into her chubby little cheeks!