Let it snow!

Spending some Christmas time up in Edmonton, Alberta with the family and it's been snowing quite a bit. As a driver I find the snow inconvenient as it makes the roads slippery and less safe. With the snow comes cold weather, something that may also be unwanted.

However, everything in life affects us how we want it to. For some people snow represents the end of warm summer, for others it's the start of the exciting skiing season, for others it represents potential earnings in the form of snow clearing. It may signify the start of the Christmas season, something so many people look forward to.

Whatever the snow means for you, I hope it's positive. If it isn't then maybe it's time to re-frame your thoughts, especially if you live in a climate that has a lot of snow, like Canada's!

With everything and every day in life you have two choices, to make the best of it... or not.

A Fourth Gift.

So I was discussing my parenting theory from my previous entry with my parents, whom I credit with being solid parental role models. They added a fourth gift that good parents give their children, and that's a good work ethic.

In life you will pay for everything at some stage. Sometimes you pay up front and reap rewards for a long time after, and sometime you get a lot early and pay at the end. This is true when it comes to everything - money, health, love, happiness etc.

The important part here is that hard work combined with smart work will generate results in the long term. Working hard from the outset, is paying for something at the start and reaping the rewards for a long time to come.

To increase the likelihood that someone realizes their life's goals, a strong work ethic is an essential ingredient.

Christmas Gifts

It's just a few days from Christmas now, and I was reflecting the other day on the whole theory of gift giving. With two young children we have gifts to give them, but as I thought about the best gifts I have received in my life, not one of them came wrapped in paper.

As concerned parents we find ourselves is discussions with other parents on the merits of certain pre-schools and educational philosophies, how much television children should watch and whether computer games with violence should be allowed. There are so many details that can be argued for and against.

When I think of what's important and what will carry our children forward to live a long and happy life, the details are quite insignificant. I feel it's the big things that matter when parenting. There's no way my wife and I will make all the right decisions on the details, but we can ensure we do the big things well.

As I see it there are three gifts we as parents need to give to our children. These gifts are not given once, but are continually given over a lifetime.

The first is unconditional love. Unconditional love is the solid foundation on which a steady life can be built. Unconditional love is love that is shown and demonstrated no matter what happens. Unconditional love is shown in the most trying situations, for example, when a family heirloom is broken, when the car has been written off or when failing grades appear in a report card. Unconditional love is the knowledge that someone is loved for who they are, not what they do or what they have. Unconditional love is something you carry with you everywhere you go as a protective shield against any potential harm. Unconditional love by its very nature is never lost... it is unconditional.

The second is the ability to think. And I don't mean this in the simplest form, for example if I said, "Think of a number between one and a hundred" I'm sure anyone could do that. That's not the thinking I'm referring to. Thinking is coming up with a solution to a problem. Thinking is inventing, creating. Thinking is deciding that you don't accept everything as it is but questioning why. Asking questions like, "Why are there so many species of tree? Why is the sky blue? Why do people get jealous? Why do people voluntarily put themselves in harm's way? The ability to think comes from the time and opportunity to do so. The less children are "fed" what to think and the more they are encouraged to create their own thoughts, the better the thinking muscle will be developed and the greater their ability to survive in an ever-changing world.

The third, and by no means any less important than the other two is faith. I don't mean religious faith, but faith in oneself. It's the faith in knowing that everything will turn out for the best because I am in control of my destiny. It's the faith in being able to rely on yourself to get the job done. It's the faith that whatever you do will result in success eventually. It's that inner knowing that you will have life full of triumphs. It's knowing that no matter what happens you can always bounce back stronger and even if you can't see the way forward it will present itself.

It's that knowing, supported by the unconditional love and coupled with the wherewithal to discover answers through clear thinking that forms a potent and unstoppable force for personal success.

Really, when you think about the trivialities that fill our time, there are but a few fundamentals that make it all happen in life. These are the greatest gifts of all.

Christmas Party

A great time was had by all last night at the Dale CarnegieChjristmas Party, held at the Ranchmen's Club in downtown Calgary. I love it when I've an opportunity to put the old penguin suit on again!

Expectations (Published Article)

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…” so the tune goes. It seems that Christmas begins the day after Halloween, with the decorations, the music and all the paraphernalia that goes with it. And certainly it’s a fun time of year.

In fact the remarkable part of all this is that Christmas itself is in fact just one day. Actually for most people, the way it’s celebrated, it really is only an evening. Amazing then that we should spend nearly two months looking forward to it. Two months of thinking about people to buy for, two months of writing Christmas cards, two months of calculating a budget for everything and then spending double that…

It reminds me of another day that people historically spend an awfully long time and a lot of resources planning for – the wedding day. It will never cease to amaze me that people can spend a year planning for a wedding, yet funerals, which often are just as large gatherings can be organized in a week.

Anyway, I digress! In addition to the “looking forward” to Christmas there’s also the tremendous energy and resources that go into it. For those who work in the retail environment, it’s not the most fun time at all. With harried shoppers darting around, crowds of desperate people looking for the one special gift, and complaining people waiting too long for service, it all adds up to something less than “special”.

Then there’s the financial investment. Far too many household budgets get blown to smithereens in December each year. Children get spoiled, and many unnecessary purchases are made.

It seems that every year with all the preparations, for most people Christmas doesn’t really have a hope of living up to those expectations. When so much focus is put on a single event for an extended period of time, there’s bound to be disappointment. For many families, Christmas is yet another family celebration, with the usual conversations, the usual politics and the usual presents. But we fool ourselves into thinking that this year it will be different.

So why do we do this? We’re intelligent creatures? Isn’t doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result the definition of insanity?

The interesting part of this is that by having a focus in the future, we have no need to pay attention to what’s happening today. We “drug” ourselves with the hopes and dreams of tomorrow, to delay the inevitable need of dealing with today. And this trick is everywhere in our lives. We are constantly looking forward, putting energy into the weekend, the next holiday, a party… anything, but not into the only thing we have – NOW.

If we put the same effort into enjoying today as much as we put into our hopes for the future, today would be so much better that we wouldn’t be so worried about tomorrow. We likely wouldn’t have the same personal issues, struggles or problems, because we would have dealt with them rather than ignore them and focus on the future. In turn we might find ourselves in a happier, more loving and financially secure place.

Think about putting the same effort into every day as you put into December 25th. It is when we live our life with enthusiasm for every moment that we have truly found a gift. Hence the line from another well-know Christmas song, “If every day could be just like Christmas, what a wonderful world it would be!”

Exhibited.

Today, some of my artwork went on display at the Second Cup cafe on 10th Street in the trendy neighbourhood of Kensington in Calgary's inner city. This is exciting because it's the first time I've been displayed at the Second Cup and it has a high traffic count. The works will be up for a month, and I hope to be displayed there in the future as well.

Prices for the works on display are as follows:

• Puzzle Pieces (2 x 36"x48") Acrylic on canvas $1495
• Skewed Landscape (24"x36") Acrylic on canvas $450
• The Kiss (24"x36") Acrylic on canvas $450
• The Hand of God (24"x36") Acrylic on canvas $450
• Morning Sunrise (24"x36") Mixed media on canvas $550
• The Sun and the Tree (24"x36") Acrylic with varnish on canvas $495

Depending on sales, the display will change over the month.

Success is getting what you want.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

Happy Halloween!

As an Australian, I never celebrated Halloween - not for any religious reasons, but because Halloween is not part of the Australian culture... or should I say, the Australian retailers haven't worked out how lucrative it can be.

I must say that I was amazed when I first came to Canada how much the shops get involved with Halloween paraphernalia. Even Shoppers Drug Mart had an aisle dedicated.

But as a Canadian citizen I choose to get involved, and especially since we now have children, i can see it being a lot of fun for them too.

Every year I've been carving pumpkins, and this year I carved Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Then, tonight for the very first time ever I went trick-or-treating. Yes, I'm in my thirties and I trick-or-treated for the first time!! I went with my daughter Vienna, who celebrated her 2nd birthday on October 29th. She went as a bear and I carried the bag of goodies.

We didn't teach her trick or treat, so she said "please" with her little hands outstretched, "thank you" (which sounds more like "fafu") when she received the goodies, and "roar" on cue when the people asked what she was.

It was awesome!

I must say that I always looked at Halloween as a money grab for the shops and another time to unnecessarily spend money, but I had so much fun with Vienna that I now think it should be a part of every child's upbringing.

As Is (Published Article)

There’s a small room in the massive Ikea store that houses “as is” items. These are pieces of furniture and accessories that have some defect or problem and cannot be sold on the floor. They are relegated to the “as is” room and sold at a discount to the regular retail price. This is the last stop. If they don’t sell quickly here they get discounted even further until they finally do go.

My point here is not to give Ikea a free advertisement, but to think about the thought process that goes into purchasing an item “as is”. When you do that, you accept its flaws. If you buy a table and it has a big scratch on it, you’ve accepted the scratch and purchased it anyway, because essentially you’ve got a bargain.

This works out well for both buyer and seller, because the seller has got rid of a problem and the buyer has found a great deal…

Well… it is a great deal if you’re happy with the scratch. If you truly have accepted the flaw then it is a great deal. If, however, you have a change of heart after you’ve brought the table home and realize that you can’t live with that scratch, it’s now become a problem. What are the solutions? A tablecloth… get an expert to sand and re-finish the surface… paint it?
I can see you saying, “So who cares? I’m not an “as is” shopper.”

Maybe you don’t buy furniture as is, but we are all in relationships or friendships, and like it or not these are as is. When I married my wife it was forever and ever, till death do us part etc… as is! There’s nothing in the vows that says that a husband or wife has to change drastically to become Mister or Mrs. Right after the wedding day, although that’s what a lot of people expect.

Is it fair to expect someone to become someone they never were just because now you married them?

We marry for better or worse… or so we promise.

Now I’m not saying that people don’t or can’t change, but it’s the expectation. When you truly love someone you accept them for who they are, warts and all… as is. The current epidemic of plastic surgery is a testimony to the fact that people don’t accept themselves and others as is, and try to become, or at least appear like someone they aren’t.

If you’re not happy with what you married you have two choices that can lead to greater happiness. Learn to accept and be thankful for what you have and look for the positives, or get out of the relationship.

People do change but it’s voluntary. No one can force change on someone else. Essentially every individual has to determine the path they want to take and make decisions to lead themselves there. People will influence those decisions but the decision for change lies within.
In any situation you have the opportunity to look at yourself and ask, “how did I get myself here?” Whether you like where you’re at or not, you had a hand in getting yourself there. If you want to be somewhere else, then you’ll need to make different decisions to get there.

If you’re in a situation that you’re unhappy with as is, then either make the change in your attitude towards it, or make the change in your actions. Just think…

If it is to be it is up to me.

Books to read...

These aren't my words, but I found them useful, especially since I like to read books that will increase my personal growth, so I thought this might be interesting to add to my blog.

Sean Wise is the Globe's monthly entrepreneurship and venture capital columnist.

Business Bibles

SEAN WISE

Globe and Mail Update

August 29, 2007 at 2:25 PM EDT

I started my life as an Entrepreneur at the ripe old age of 13. Since that time, I've without a doubt read hundreds of books on entrepreneurship, venture capital, angel investing, innovation and business leadership.

• Often I'm asked to recommend some of the best to those looking to get a jump on their entrepreneurial education. So without further ado, here's my list:
• The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki
• How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
• Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton
• The Monk who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma
• Getting Things Done by David Allan

The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki

This is the book I wish I wrote. Kawasaki, bestselling author on more than a half dozen business books, outlines the what, the why and most of all the how of starting a new venture. This book covers topics including but not limited to:

• The Art of Raising Capital
• The Art of Pitching
• The Art of Bootstrapping
• The Art of Recruiting
• The Art of Being a Mensch

The former Chief Evangelist for Apple and founder of ultra successful seed fund, Silicon Valley's Garage Ventures, has taken the blogosphere by storm these last few years, expanding his early works and leveraging his network to share insights. Kawasaki is often controversial, and sometimes arrogant, but his lessons are almost always extremely valuable. For those reasons, Kawasaki is a must read for all founders and funders.

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

This was actually the first business book I read. The book has been a bestseller since the 1930s, and is still valuable even if some of the examples are slightly dated.Carnegie extols the virtues of putting yourself in the shoes of others before speaking or taking action. He also shares: why smiling is still the best (and most cost effective) form of customer service; the secret for getting any job (a secret I've successfully used many times); and how to increase employee satisfaction without increasing costs. My favorite lesson - and one I work at each and every day: Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain.

Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton

If Carnegie's tome helps to minimize conflict, William's and Ury's treatise on negotiation theory sets out a process which, if followed, ensure efficient negotiation and effective conflict mitigation. This great book was required reading while I was in law school and helped bring terms like BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement — i.e. what is the next best case if you fail to resolve the matter) and WATNA (Worse Alternative to Negotiated Agreement — i.e. what is the biggest downside of not resolving the matter) to the forefront. Together, these terms help to clarify the boundaries of any disputed outcome. Whether you are going to ask for a raise or acquire a company, this is your requisite prior reading.

The Monk who Sold his Ferrari by Robin Sharma

I was attracted to Sharma's work by our similar backgrounds. Both of us are Toronto based, washed-up lawyers, who have both found rejuvenation in writing. However, that's where the similarities end. Sharma has been a bestseller in more than 42 countries and sold more than 10 million copies of his first book, The Monk who Sold his Ferrari . Me? Not so many. On the plus side, I do have better hair than Robin, but that's about it. As for the book, it's a classic parable, helping readers to discover the true meaning of life (and it does). In this "always on", "24/7" world we live in, with ever blurring lines between work and life, this book is more relevant than ever. If you are searching for your purpose, looking to refocus, or just wondering "is there something more", I'd highly recommend this story.

Getting Things Done by David Allan

Do you have hundreds of emails waiting for your reply? A to-do list that gets bigger everyday? More meetings than there are hours in the day? Then Getting Things Done (or GTD as David Allan devotees refer to it) is what you NEED to read. Yes, NEED to Read. Sited as "the premiere text" for managing time in the modern world, this book outlines how to set and follow through on your priorities.

Allan's book has spawned a cult-like following amongst tech entrepreneurs the world over, some even going so far as to create free software to take Allan's GTD to the next level.Recently, I had the chance to have a "fireside chat" with David during one of Silicon Valley's "Under the Radar" events. If I wasn't convinced before of the value of Allan's program, one need only look to the legions of devotees that swarmed him after the interview, clamoring for autographs and pictures.

David Allan has become the rockstar of organization, and rightfully so. Some readers claim double or triple increases in their efficiency and huge decreases in work -related anxiety. If you feel overwhelmed by your INBOX, take a break and read this book.

The Bottom Line: A few months ago, I shared with readers Jiu-Jitsu Master Sensei Helio Gracie's secret to martial arts and life — always keep learning. If that makes sense to you — then grab one, two or all of the above texts, turn off your blackberry and improve your entrepreneurial life by reading a chapter a day.

Sunset Over The Mountains

This is an encaustic painting on plywood. 24" x 24". I really like the colours. It's so relaxing.

The Comfort Zone

We often think of the Comfort Zone as our friend, the place where everything is good, and we get that warm and fuzzy feeling.

As time goes on this year, I realize how much of my life I have lived in a comfort zone, and how it isn't beneficial to my overall happiness. The reason I guess I fooled myself, or convinced myself that I was living out my dreams was because I now recognize that my comfort zone is bigger than many people's. The error I've made, however is to use this comparison as a justification for what I'm doing.

Let me be specific here. I've been in the work-force for a little over eleven years. No, I'll correct that. It's been a little over eleven years since I finished my university education. I have not worked every year since then.

When I look at what I've done in those eleven years, it includes working in billboard sales, in four different companies' marketing departments, the last time as the Marketing Manager, at and advertising agency and as a Tour Manager for Contiki in western Europe.

Since graduating I've lived five years in Australia, 18 months in Europe and five years in Canada.

I'm very happily married for nearly five years and have two beautiful daughters.

But it wasn't until this year that I started to get out of my comfort zone. It was the first time in as long as I can remember that I REALLY got nervous - when I started to become a Trainer for Dale Carnegie. And as I begin now to work for Dale Carnegie in a sales capacity, I realize that this is also stretching my comfort zone again.

So I was thinking today while I was working out at the gym, what I may have accomplished in the last eleven years had I really stretched myself out of my comfort zone. When I read articles about successful people, I know that I could have done what they did... but haven't.

This year has shone a light on how easily I've managed to coast along, albeit at a steady rate and with progress, but actually not enough progress to keep me excited and fulfilled.

In my dreams last night I realized that I've been holding myself back with negative self-talk - that little voice in my head that says "I can't..." When I know that all I have to say is "Give it a go. Just do it." and the rest will take care of itself.

It's time for me, and for everyone who wants to achieve their goals to throw fear out the window and let loose. Be fearless! It's only when we act in the face of fear that we will progress our life forward.

The Comfort Zone is not our friend, it is actually an insidious enemy that keeps us from achieving our dreams and finding true happiness.

Weight Gain!!

It's amazing how quickly children grow! Our new daughter Delilah weighed in at a tick over eight pounds when she was born. 32 days later she's a whopping eleven pounds. That's a 37% weight gain in just a month! And unlike most women, she hasn't gained it in her thighs and bum, it seems to have all gone into her chubby little cheeks!

Living A Deliberate Life (Published Article)

Take a moment to reflect on your life, and think of at least one time when you achieved something significant. You set a goal, made a plan, and dedicated time to achieving that goal. You worked hard, and eventually you did it. Maybe you set a fitness goal like running a marathon, or a professional goal to get a promotion or to work in a particular company or field. Maybe personally you set yourself goals to meet people and make friends. Whatever it was, reflect on that success for a moment.

Now think about the rest of your life, and whether it follows the same guided path that you took on that occasion. If you’re like most people, your life looks a lot less deliberate.
Unfortunately many of us live in this “accidental life” mode all the time. When we get in that mode we tend to rely on good luck, and good things happening, rather than making them happen. I do have a lot of good luck in my life, but I work very hard to get it, and I expect to get it.

You know the feeling of driving somewhere out of the usual, but you started to drive somewhere else - to a place you regularly drive. Suddenly you realize that you’re on auto-pilot.

To live a deliberate life, the first thing we need to do is become conscious and get out of auto-pilot mode. Auto-pilot is good for a lot of things, but if we make important decisions in auto-pilot mode, we can just drift along in our life and not get to where we want to go.

It’s easier to live unconsciously and “go with the flow”, but it lowers your expectations and in turn will lower your results. In life we generally get what we expect to get.

A conscious life will bring you what you want because you will know what you want and you will focus your energy towards getting it.

The first step to becoming conscious is to slow down and take some deep breaths… literally! Meditating, praying or creating quiet time without any distractions is the first step to becoming more aware. This isn’t something that should be done once, but regularly – every day if possible.

The second is to ask questions. There’s one really good question, asked over and over to help you get to the root of the issue. Answered honestly it will help you find your true motives. It’s the one little children like to ask over and over because they are living consciously – “Why?”

For example:

Why am I unfit? I don’t exercise enough.
Why don’t I exercise enough? I don’t have time, because I am so busy at work.
Why am I so busy at work? I take on more than I can handle.
Why do I take on more than I can handle? I don’t like saying “No”.
Why don’t I like saying “No”? I’m afraid I might get fired
Why am I afraid I might get fired? Because my Dad got fired when I was young, and we had to go without for a while.

Acting upon those motives is the last but crucial step. Ask yourself similar questions beginning with “How can I…” if you want to help yourself with ideas for taking action.

No action is like having an electric oven, but no electricity. The potential is there to make the best Thanksgiving dinner, but without electricity you might as well try cooking your roast in a cardboard box.

I am Canadian

At around 11:30am on September 21st, 2007 I officially became a Canadian citizen! Hurray!

Florence Chadwick

Florence May Chadwick was born November 9, 1918 and died March 15, 1995. She was an American swimmer who was the first woman ever to cross the English Channel both ways.

On August 8, 1950, she crossed the English Channel in 13 hours and 20 minutes, breaking the then-current world record held by American swimmer Gertrude Ederle. One year later, Chadwick crossed the English Channel yet again, from England to France; this time, in 16 hours and 22 minutes, thus making her the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions.

On the fourth of July 1952, Florence, now 34, had set her goal at being the first woman to swim the 26 miles between Catalina Island and the California coastline. As she began this historical journey, she was flanked by small boats that watched for sharks and were prepared to help her if she got hurt or grew tired. Hour after hour Florence swam, but after about 15 hours, a thick, heavy fog set in. Florence began to doubt her ability, and she told her mother, who was in one of the boats, that she didn’t think she could make it.

Her mother and her trainer continued to offer encouragement. They told her it wasn't much further, but all she could see was fog. They urged her not to quit.

She never had . . . until then.

As she sat in the boat, Florence found out she had stopped swimming less than one mile away from the California shoreline. Florence explained that she quit because she could no longer see the coastline-there was too much fog. She couldn’t see her goal.

Two months later, Florence got back in the water to try her task once more. This time was different. She swam from Catalina Island to the shore of California in a straight path for 26 miles. The same thick fog set in, but Florence made it because she said that while she swam, she kept a mental image of the shoreline in her mind. Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel, eclipsing the men's record by two hours!

She didn’t lose sight of the shore because she focused on that image of the coast in her mind, and in this way, she reached her goal.

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller 1880-1968

The Greatest Lesson of All

So often these days people rate their level of success by a few key criteria - job position, annual income, size of house, location of house, size of television, value of car(s) etc. Success for many is represented by what you can see they own.

For me success equals happiness. So, success at work is happiness at work. Personal success means happiness at home. I recently heard a definition for success that I liked, and it goes something like this...

"Success is waking up in the morning eager to go to work, being excited to return home at the end of the day and being welcome at both places."

Right now I'm in the middle of a seven-week break from working. I call myself semi-retired, although I will start working again in October. It has been an awesome time because it has given me time to spend with the family, and fully recharge my batteries for work, and rediscover my hunger to succeed in a professional capacity that had slowly dwindled over the last few years.

Being at home has also allowed me to be more hands on as a parent, and again a great learning experience. Children have the knack of highlighting weaknesses and make you realize how people of ever age have a habit of behaving childishly.

Many people have been asking us whether Vienna, our 22 month old daughter, is feeling misplaced or displaced with Delilah's arrival. We have heard many horror stories from parents whose first child gets very upset by the arrival of the younger sibling. Where the first child was once the star attraction, he or she, through no fault of their own, gets relegated to be the warm-up act.

Actually Vienna seems to be doing very well with the adjustments. We have been reinforcing from the very beginning that this is Vienna's baby. That seems to have given her ownership of her new sister and made her feel more responsible for helping and being a good "big sister".

Her behaviour is similar to that of adults whose lives are suddenly changed at work or home. If they aren't supported and given the appropriate recognition, they often times lose interest and if the feelings are widespread enough in an organization that would mean a serious deterioration in morale.

Vienna has been very helpful and likes to assist one of the parents in diaper changing for Delilah. Vienna will fetch and unfold the clean diaper and dispose of the dirty one for us.

Vienna is also often on hand to give supportive kisses to Delilah.

It has been a lot of fun over the past two weeks having a new baby, but also seeing Vienna as a big sister. Vienna surprises us constantly with her understanding and maturity.

Having children is the greatest lesson of all.

As Cute As Ever!

Over the past couple of weeks a lot of the focus has been on our new daughter Delilah. However, it is so important that we don't forget our special almost two-year-old Vienna. She has been such a good big sister and is still as cute as ever!

The Hand That Feeds Us

I've noticed a theme starting to emerge with some of my paintings. This is the fifth painting I have completed that depicts a hand, and I've painted a few with the theme of the environment.

This is a picture of the "Hand That Feeds Us" - the Earth. Within this Earth there are many riches, and the helping hand is always out there for us, but we are chopping it off one small piece at a time, not realizing that we are irreversibly making drastic changes.

Lamborghini Countach

As a young boy, my dream cars were a Porsche 911 and a Lamborghini Countach. So you can imagine my excitement at seeing this Countach at the airport parking lot.

Maybe this will be Vienna's dream car... by the time she's old enough to drive it might be affordable!

On The Right Team

Poppy

I started painting this on the 2nd September, but didn't get it finished because Delilah was born. I did manage to get the last half hour finished on the fifth!

A New Addition

At 9:11pm on September 2nd, Delilah Ieva came into this world, our second daughter. She weighed in at 8lbs 3/4 oz and measured 21 inches long. She's happy and healthy and we're all getting on well as a slightly larger and slightly louder family.

Failures (Published Article)

A number of years ago there was a Nike commercial on television with Michael Jordan. As he walked through a dimly-lit corridor, Jordan’s voice comes on:

I've missed over nine thousand shots in my career.
I've lost almost three hundred games.
Twenty-six times I've been trusted with the game-winning shot... and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life.
And that is why I succeed.

There are few people in this world who can say they have been more successful at anything than Michael Jordan was at basketball.

Life can be a struggle sometimes, and there are many times where things don't seem to go our way. Those are precisely the times when we need to take a step back and look at what is happening and find the lesson.

Our society mentality has become one of “keeping up with the Joneses”, and hand-in-hand with this is the strive for perfection or at least to appear perfect.

But perfection is an unattainable illusion. Nothing on Earth is perfect, and nobody is perfect, because perfection is a perception, which is subjective. What’s perfect for me, may be a disaster for someone else. In any case, everything is imperfect, and that’s why there’s evolution and change. Everything is always getting better or worse, so by definition it couldn’t have been perfect.

The people who spend the most time trying for perfection are the ones who spend the most time covering the realities in their life. They do this because it’s far easier to cover up than it is to actually face the fault and deal with it.

Imagine a house with rotten wood framing. Quickly covering over it with drywall is a far easier prospect than actually remediating the issue, although on the surface it might look the same.
Nevertheless, we’re told that perfection is the way to go, and as humans we look for the quickest and easiest way to the goal.

Society tells us that perfection is having children who are involved in five after-school activities; living in the perfect neighbourhood with the perfect picket fence and driving the perfect European vehicle into our pristine garage. You get the idea.

But what’s the point?

Being perfect doesn’t allow for mistakes, because perfect people don’t make mistakes. Not giving ourselves the freedom to make mistakes means that we aren’t giving ourselves room to learn.

When we fool ourselves into believing that we are always right, that we have “arrived” and that we know everything, it spells disaster, because it means we will stop learning and growing.
So what does this mean for the average person?

Do you know someone who “knows it all”. Where do these people end up? Usually making the same mistakes over and over and progressing very little if at all in their lives. Financial success does not mean success in every facet of life. You don’t need to look far to see wealthy people with dysfunctional home lives. But you can also just as easily find poor people who are tremendously happy with what they have.

No matter what age you’re at, it’s important to take a chance, take the road less travelled and put yourself on the line. Recognize that a “failure” is nothing more than an undesirable outcome from which you can learn.

Succeeding in life is not about being perfect. Successful people aren’t perfect. Successful people are prepared to fail and keep trying. We’re lucky Michael Jordan didn’t stop playing after losing his first game.

Tiger Woods

This weekend Tiger Woods completed his fourth victory at the PGA Championship, his 13th Major, and his 59th victory on the PGA Tour. The big thing is that it's his 13th Major title in his chase of Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 Major titles.

An article in the local newspaper here commented that he is only five majors short of Nicklaus' record. What's interesting about that "only", is that only 13 golfers have won more than five majors in their entire career. Some notables who won five or less include: Seve Ballesteros (5), James Braid (5), Byron Nelson (5) Peter Thomson (5) Raymond Floyd (4), Ernie Els (3) Hale Irwin (3), Phil Mickelson (3), Nick Price (3), Vijay Singh (3), Payne Stewart (3) and Greg Norman (2).

Each one of these players was or is an amazingly talented golfer in his time. All reached the pinnacle of golfing excellence more than once. Even racking up five majors as Seve Ballesteros or the legendary Byron Nelson did in an entire career is mentioned as an "only" in the Tiger Woods realm of golf.

Tiger Woods is only in his early thirties and already has a career that would be impressive for a dozen golfers to share equally - five PGA wins, including a major each!

Look at his current world golf ranking below:

1. Woods 22.10
2. Furyk 8.69
3. Mickelson 8.44
4. Els 7.67
5. Scott 6.48
6. Harrington 6.23
7. Singh 5.88
8. Garcia 5.53
9. Ogilvy 5.49
10. Stenson 5.30

Tiger Woods is so far ahead of the #2 ranked player it's almost embarrassing. In fact the players ranked fourth, fifth and sixth have a combined total number of ranking points less than Tiger alone. Tiger almost outpoints the seventh to tenth ranked quartet.

It's truly amazing.

But what we can all learn from this is that hard work pays off. You only need to look at Tiger's physique compared to the other golfers to see that he spends more time strengthening his muscles than the rest. There's no overhang on his belt, no double chin or loose flesh on his body. For all the people who joke that golf is a a sport just as much as chess and darts should be considered a sport, Tiger gives it credibility.

No one works harder on every aspect of golf than Tiger Woods, and his professionalism is second to none. Tiger has a vision and he expects only the best of himself. And as his record shows, he invariably gets the results.

The Ostrich (Published Article)

The Ostrich, officially named "Struthio camelus" is the largest of the 8,600 bird species, which exist today. Reaching a height of up to 2.6m these birds can weigh up to 135kg, cannot fly, but are very fast runners.

The long-held myth is that ostriches bury their head in the sand when they are frightened. The Canadian Museum of Nature's website states that- "If threatened while sitting on the nest, which is simply a cavity scooped in the earth, the hen presses her long neck flat along the ground, blending with the background. Ostriches, contrary to popular belief, do not bury their heads in the sand."

The term "sticking your head in the sand" has come to mean that you choose to ignore a bad situation, and hope that it will go away on its own. The unfortunate reality is that most of us take that action (really, a lack of action) when faced with a challenge. Sticking your head in the proverbial sand also prevents you from finding out more information that might help resolve the issue.

Every day I open the local newspaper to read about how people are affected by situations, how their life has become a living horror because of something that happened to them. Unfortunately most of these situations were preventable, but a lack of action allowed it to occur.

As children we are brought up with "A stitch in time saves nine" and "prevention is the best medicine", and these hold true for all of life's situations. The hard part is doing something about a potential future disaster rather than waiting for it to happen and then becoming involved in a stressful situation.

When you see something on your horizon take action now. Face your fears, get information, and move yourself to do something.

All too often we look at successful people and wonder how they get all the luck. I recently came across this a few weeks ago with a gentleman I worked with. He is in his fifties and recently moved away from Calgary into semi-retirement on Vancouver Island. He had just bought a boat and a large property overlooking the water.

Someone commented to me "Well it's alright for him. He has money!"

"Ahh yes!" I said, "but when he started dreaming about this ten years ago, he didn't. You're looking at his life nine and a half years into a ten year plan. No wonder it looks easy now, he's basically at the finish line."

No one became an "overnight success" without years of hard work before hand.

What was also interesting was how clear he could see his dreams even before they had materialised. Before he bought his boat he could visualise it, and he could even see where his dog would sleep. Having such a clear vision for what he wanted allowed him to know how to get there. He was able to take the right action because he knew where he wanted to end up. For many of us, it's having that clear vision of where we want to go that's the stumbling block.

When I asked the person who made the comment that this gentleman has "all the luck", I asked her what she wanted for her future. "To be happy," was the answer. But she couldn't tell me what "happy" looked like.

To make your future dreams become a reality it's important to imagine them, and see them clearly. You can't shoot for a goal that you can't see.

It's time to take our collective heads out of the sand, get informed, dream about our future and face our fears.

Breaking Habits

My wife and I have realized how difficult it can be to break a habit... not ours, but our daughter's. Vienna is 21 months old and up until a week ago was drinking all her milk from the bottle.

A bottle on rising in the morning, a bottle before lunch, one after her nap in the middle of the afternoon, and one just before bed time.

Our family doctor told us that, for the benefit of her teeth, we shouldn't feed her the bottle anymore. So we stopped.

But to get her to drink milk out of anything else has been impossible... and we've tried. We tried about five different cups, heating the milk, not heating the milk, adding chocolate, pretending to drink it ourselves, or feeding it to her teddy bears. It doesn't matter what we try, she sees right through our tactics. Nothing is as good as milk out of the bottle!

For about a year Vienna has been drinking all sorts of fluids from sippy-cups, normal cups, through a straw, juice boxes, but milk has always been consumed from a bottle. We tried a few months ago to get her to drink milk from a sippy-cup, but to no avail.

As parents, we suddenly realised the error of our ways, and good that we recognized that before our second is born (due in six weeks). Try not to establish habits that you know in the future you will have to break. Rather, try to establish the habit of flexibility and variation. If only we had our daughter drinking milk from more than one container from an early age, phasing out the bottle wouldn't be an issue.

Instead we've abandoned the bottle completely and with it, her milk consumption has dropped by 80%. So now we scramble to add milk or cheese to her diet where possible.

I know this will be a short-term situation, but it's frustrating because we didn't foresee this problem, but looking back we can see how we helped create it.

Change of Direction

This morning I handed in my resignation without any firm plans of where I'll be off to next... except to take a solid six weeks off to spend it with my wife and daughter, my parents who are coming up from Australia in mid-August, and the second child we're due with on September 6th.

One of the suppliers I regularly deal with said it was admirable that I would take off so much time, when people today are so focused on money, money, money. But I told her that in the last 12 years I have taken almost three years off work to travel and experience life.

Balance in life is a bit like communism... it's good on paper, but somehow it doesn't work in the real world. I've tried throughout my whole life to attain a kind of balance, and the best I've managed is three years off in twelve. But what's more important is to attain happiness. If you're happy at work and happy at home then the need for balance takes care of itself. The need for balance arises when we're unhappy and are constantly seeking relief somewhere else.

I always find it sad when people spend months and months looking forward to a week-long holiday. It's one thing to be excited for a holiday, but it's another to wish away the majority of your life for a couple of weeks a year. What about the rest of the time?

When I think of life I think of a dripping tap. It drips and drips a little bit at a time. Each drop could represent a day. Individually a drop is not significant, but collect many drops over time and you have a puddle. It's the same with life. To not enjoy one day in your life is not a big deal, but to not enjoy many of them - that's significant. And at some point the tap will dry up, and we don't know when that will be. What would you do with your last day? Would you spend it the way you're spending today? Today may be your last...

Make sure you enjoy every day, and get excellent value from your time. You never know how much more of it you have.

Who'll Be Next?!

After a gruelling day I came home at around 10:15pm after my Dale Carnegie course, chatted with my wife until about 11pm and then went to bed.

At 1am my wife wakes to see me standing at the corner of the bed in my pyjamas, hands outstretched saying, "Who'll be next?!"

For the first time in my life I'm sleepwalking. As I dreamt I thought I was giving the Dale Carnegie class to a bright room full of eager participants.

"Wake up!" she tells me.

"Huh?" I open my eyes and suddenly my mind starts racing. Why is it dark? Where's the class? Why am I in my bedroom? Why am I in my pyjamas? What time is it?

I was quite confused at this time, but staggered back into bed and went to sleep.

They say "you don't take the Dale Carnegie program, you live it."

I certainly am.

Got it done!

I have never been so nervous in my life. I started getting ulcers in my mouth on Sunday, and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have done a lot of public speaking in my lifetime and now have few nerves from that, but today I trained my first session of the Dale Carnegie program.

My throat was dry, and no matter how much water I drank the desert in my mouth remained. My tongue was like an old leather belt and my stomach churned.

As 6 o'clock drew near the terror increased, and then I was up... opening the session and getting right into it. Everything went well, considering and I made it through to the end.

As a "Tandem-Trainer" I deliver half of the session and the experienced trainer delivers the other half, while keeping a watchful eye over what I'm doing. It's a very good way of easing into it, given the high expectations.

Now at the other side of it I've grown in confidence and I know next week won't be so bad.

Woohoo!

Taking A Risk (Published Article)

As a thirty-something Generation X’er, I am surrounded with friends who are in the midst of early-life crises. It seemed that for the Baby Boomers this crisis was “mid-life” in the forty to fifty age range. Now it seems to be happening earlier, because of all the opportunities we now have at our disposal.

This early-life crisis that seems to strike between 25 and forty is generally work or career related and the number of people I know personally who have made a complete change of career, gone back to study or taken extended leave to travel the world before 35 is amazing.

I’ve done all three.

What I noticed about my life and about others is how they become energized during and after this change. This energy is what carries you through the upheaval, and the fresh new energy afterwards is a sign that you’re on the right track. That’s enthusiasm for life.

Dale Carnegie said, “Enthusiasm is more than just zest for work. It is for the whole of life and living. If you have it, you have a priceless possession. Cherish it.”

I believe that enthusiasm for life comes when you are living your dream. Deep down we all know what we would do “in an ideal world”. For many of us it takes a personal tragedy or a life-threatening illness to make us change the way we live, to set us on the right track. A friend of mine in his late thirties, quit his high-paying, stressful job to chase his dream after he saw his brother die in a car accident.

If you’re thinking that you don’t feel enthusiastic about your job or your life, I’m sure you can find at least one thing that you’re enthusiastic about. Maybe it’s spending time with grandchildren, walking the dog, golfing, volunteering at church, working in the garden, skiing… it doesn’t matter. Think of that one thing, or the many things that get you excited. That’s the feeling you’re looking for; that feeling of anticipation when you start a new and exciting job, the thrill of a first date, or the excitement of seeing or learning something new.

It’s a great feeling when the path you’re taking in your life is completely in synch with your hopes and dreams. It’s not that difficult to be there. It’s all about making some decisions. Decide what it is you want in your life and what you don’t. One piece at a time, add or remove the respective aspects to your life.

The only catch is you’ll have to take a risk. This is obvious, really, because the risks you have taken so far in life had got you where you are today. To get somewhere else tomorrow, you’ll have to do something different, also known as taking a risk.

In my personal experience of taking risks, and from those I’ve observed, I see that risk-taking is nearly always a positive experience. Win, lose or draw, taking a risk means personal growth and perhaps a new perspective. I can attribute nearly all of the greatest experiences in my life to times when I took a risk. The bigger the risk, it seemed, the bigger the pay-off. Of course if a risk is taken and the result appears to be negative, it’s how we deal with that result that has the greatest effect on our life.

Thomas Edison discovered 10,000 ways not to invent a light bulb, before he found the right way. From Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump, there are countless examples of hugely successful people who all took risks and failed, but picked themselves up and continued on.

Unfortunately for many of us, it takes only one small setback and we abandon chasing our dreams, relegating them to “unattainable dream” status.

In this respect we can learn a lot from children. Their life is all about experiments, taking risks, doing things they’ve never done before, falling down, getting hurt, but nevertheless, trying again until success presents itself.

Take a leaf out of a child’s book and take a risk! Go for it! Your life will never be the same again!

An Inspiration

On this day, the second day of June 2007, it is my father's 60th birthday. Other than being a great Dad and role model over the last three decades, he has recently made a change in his life which is truly inspirational.

Faced with the prospect of not getting travel insurance to travel to Canada, due to an angioplasty he had done nearly ten years ago. Dad has now become a high-risk traveller and cannot get travel insurance for his heart condition.

This might have been a small nudge for many people, but for Dad it was a massive wake-up call. A little overweight, but quite unfit, Dad started a new regime of eating less, eating better, drinking less alcohol and doing a lot more exercise. Since March 3rd, he has only missed his daily 10km walk once due to bad weather. In three months he has lost nearly 30 pounds and is almost back to his wedding day weight from 1971. His blood-pressure is down, his fitness is up, he's feeling better and more motivated in life now that he has all this extra energy.

After hearing the news in March that he couldn't get insurance they cancelled their trip to Canada to visit us, but the trip is now back on. With their second grandchild due in early September, they will be here for the birth and despite not getting insurance, both Dad's doctor and cardiologist don't see him having any heart risk due to travel.

Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

Facebook Phenomenon

For those of you who haven't become a www.facebook.com member, it's this fairly new free networking/personal web space product that allows you to keep in touch with everyone on it, and find old friends.

Yesterday an old friend from school, whom I literally have not seen or heard from for over ten years found me. (Having a unique name sort of helps that process a little). But it was amazing to re-connect with someone from the past so easily and efficiently.

When I compare these times of technology to 1992 when I spent a year in Germany, a time when there was no Internet, no email and very expensive international phone calls, you rely heavily on the traditional postal service, which we now call "snail mail", but at the time was the quickest method we had.

Every week my parents would write me two letters, one with the news from the family and one with sporting news, which included newspaper clippings for me to read. You can probably guess which parent sent which letter. In return I wrote a letter to my parents every week as well, in addition to letters to all my other friends. I cherished every letter I received and read every page of newspaper clippings. These letters were my connection to home.

Once a month my parents would call me for half an hour.

Now, living away from Australia I am able to email, access Australian news online, speak to my parents for free over the Internet, and reconnect with old friends in Australia and the rest of the world through Facebook.

Many people argue that technology is ruining the world, but if you take it in appropriate doses, it's making the world a better connected place. These days it will be nearly impossible to lose touch with someone.

Positive Feedback

Right now, I'm in the midst of training to become a Dale Carnegie Trainer. Because I'm "fast-tracking" things a bit, it's quite a hectic schedule I'm keeping.

For the past five weeks, and for seven more, I am a Group Leader for a Wednesday night class, that finishes around 10:30pm. Four four weeks (two gone and two to go) I'm in a Monday night study group that finishes at 8pm, and next week I start again as a Group Leader for a Tuesday night class, again finishing around 10:30pm. So for two weeks I will have Dale Carnegie on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

Did I mention that there's also homework?

On the 17th June I will be in Edmonton for a training course to as the crucial step to becoming a Dale Carnegie Trainer, which is eight days long (Sunday to Sunday), 8am till 8pm.

It's tiring, especially when you add full-time work and a family and all the other commitments we have... but it's worth it.

Over and above the fact that I'm chasing my dreams to become a professional coach and speaker, the tremendous personal growth I'm enjoying and the positive feedback make the lack of sleep all worth it.

Today I received and email from one of the other two people from Calgary who are also training to become a Trainer and his opening words were "You will be an amazing trainer!"

I thought about what a good feeling I get from being around positive people who live the Dale Carnegie principles relating to good human relations. None of it is revolutionary. In fact Dale Carnegie began teaching his program 95 years ago.

Being a positive person, and genuinely caring about others takes as much energy as being negative and selfish, but the feelings you get and the way you make people around you feel is vastly different.

Spiritual peace.

It occurred to me as I was walking around the campus of the George Washington University on our recent trip to DC, that as a species, humans spend a lot of time and energy studying ourselves.

Relating to health, body and mind, there are four and five year courses on physical fitness, medicine, nursing, physiotherapy, dentistry, occupational health, anatomy, biology, immunology, pharmacology, sociology, women's studies and more.

When you look at all of the courses available at the post-secondary level, a striking number are related to the study of ourselves. Why is it then that suicide rates are just as high now as they were in the 1950s? One scary aspect of that is that men are three times more likely to commit suicide than women.

When it comes to depression, more drugs are being prescribed than ever to treat this epidemic and larger volumes of younger people are on anti-depressant medication.

And no-one is surprised that obesity is a huge factor in the health of people in the 21st century. You only have to look at the people walking towards you on the street to see that poor diet and insufficient exercise plague far too great a proportion of the population.

In Canada the obesity rate for children under 18 has tripled (3% to 9%) in the last 30 years and more than doubled for the 25-34 age group and over 75 age group. While Canada's obesity rate is at 24%, it's at 30% in the United States.Officially obesity is calculated as having a BMI (Body Mass Index) over 30. What that means in real terms - An adult male who is 5'10" and weighs 210lbs or an adult woman 5'4" weighing 175lbs are considered obese. The only exception relates to body-builders, who have larger than average muscles.

So with all this study of ourselves, why do we have so many health problems?

Shouldn't we be getting healthier?

Why are they predicting that Generation X'ers will have a shorter life expectancy than their parents?

We study ourselves, but do we even know who we are?

We learn and learn but what do we know?

Theoretically we know so much about how we operate as human beings, but we don't know how to do it. It's one thing to understand intellectually, it's completely another to know and feel something spiritually.

You can read books about golf, but you'll never become a good golfer without swinging a club. Life is about experiencing first hand and learning "on the job". Life is a work in progress.

It seems with all our attention we have lost the focus.

The goal should be pure happiness, spiritual peace, calmness. But it seems our goals are status, achievement, material wealth, knowledge, power and the rest of what Gordon Gekko espouses in the movie 'Wall Street'. Greed is not good if it makes you sad.

Our education system does not encourage learning for the sake of happiness. It encourages learning to "make it in life", to gain employment and to become successful. Unfortunately success is rarely defined as happiness, as serenity.

I never once had a meditation class at school. No one ever told me that I could be happy without everything that money can buys, and in fact that the only things that make you happy are what money can't buy.

Indeed many of the health issues faced by people today are not solely because McDonald's seems to be on every street corner. Free will continues to exist. Obesity, depression, suicide, and other social issues derive themselves from deeper issues related to lack of self-worth and insecurity.

As a race we need to spend less time studying ourselves and more time understanding ourselves, not on an intellectual level, but on a spiritual and holistic level.

We should feel what our body needs. Ask it. Trust that the answer is correct. Know that if we are true to ourselves and trust what our body tells us we need we won't go wrong.

It's only when we choose to believe what someone else thinks about us as the truth, that we run into problems.

We're back!

We're back... but our luggage is still on holidays!

After a week of travelling, wearing down the rubber on our shoes, developing monster blisters (not me, my wife did!), seeing more American history than Abraham Lincoln, and eating more food than we should have eaten in two weeks we're back in Calgary. Unfortunately I can't say the same about our poor bags.

We were scheduled to return from Philadelphia via Chicago into Edmonton at 10:30pm. But as our flight to Chicago was delayed by an hour and we only had an hour layover in Chicago, we would have missed our connecting flight. So we re-routed through Toronto, on a later flight. We arrived at 1am into Edmonton, but 48 hours later, our luggage is still officially somewhere between Chicago and Edmonton... although I have a sneaking suspicion it's sitting in some dark corner of the Edmonton airport.

Luggage issues aside, we had an awesome time. It was great to see the originals of the great US historical documents, like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution with its amendments. I did learn a lot about north American history, and came to realize something new about the United States.

The country really is a lot poorer than it lets on. When you figure how much the government pays for the various wars it fights, money that could be allocated to looking after it people, you can see visible signs that there really isn't so much prosperity.

It struck me on the first day we were there. Our hotel was near the Lincoln Memorial, which is at one end of the famous Reflecting Pool. We walked along the Reflecting Pool from the Lincoln Memorial past the Washington Monument to the Capitol building. I was staggered that the Reflecting Pool was green with algae and slime. The grass surrounding the Pool was patchy at best, but riddled with weeds and not mown. Actually a very untidy sight that I would expect to see in a poor ex-Soviet republic. Then, rather than having a pretty building where food, drinks and souvenirs were sold, it was literally a tent, and the washrooms were a row of Port-A-Potties. Hardly impressive.

In general many of the buildings were run-down, and poorly maintained. In many ways it did remind me of the many poor European cities I had visited, certainly not the image United States would like to portray to the outside world.

When you go further and look at the health system, frailty of the economy, and the general slide of the nation from the world's primary economic powerhouse, to a diminishing influence, it all bodes poorly for the US.

As a Canadian (I think of myself as one, as it is the place I call home) it is sad for me to see our nearest neighbour in such strife, and hopefully the ill effects will not creep to far across the border.

I'm not holding my breath.

Slavery

One theme that we noticed on this trip, similar to our other trips to the United States is a recurring theme of the abolition of slavery in the country, something the nation is very proud of.

What was interesting however if the definite racial division that still exists. Having always lived in a country that is predominantly of the same skin colour that I belong to, I had never really experienced any real visible racial segregation.

This trip to Washington DC and Philadelphia opened my eyes a little. It's true that there are no more "slaves", but it seems the people of African descent are still "servants". It seemed there were two classes of jobs, one for the black people and one for the rest. The blacks were in lower class jobs (and I say that with all due respect, but they are generally thought of as undesirable or dirty, but they are by no means any less important than any other job role our world requires to operate efficiently)- McDonald's and fast food restaurants, security guards, cleaners, waiters etc. Now, absolutely we saw black people wearing suits and working in high-demand jobs, but it seemed that we almost never saw any white people working in the first list of jobs.

We took a tour of the Arlington Cemetery in DC, and the bus drivers were all black, but the guides were all white.

I now understand more what Oprah talks about when she says racism still exists in the USA in a big way. Although there is officially no slavery, it is apparent that there are jobs that white people won't do because it's below them, but are happy to see black people work at.

Doing a job because you are owned by your master and having now choice is one kind of oppression, but being free and still feeling like you don't have a choice is a whole new kind of oppression... mental oppression. The kind that the Soviet Union wielded over it's "republics" like the Baltic States.

Slavery is abolished, but there is still some work to go before the races could be considered equal.

The Secret (Published Article)

I'm sure many of you had seen the movie or read the book "The Secret". It's a very well marketed concept, but the interesting thing is that nothing in there is really revolutionary, and neither does it claim to be.

Briefly, “The Secret” is the Law of Attraction, which states that you will attract into your life what you think about, whether it is positive or negative. Your thoughts determine your destiny.

What I found interesting was that so many people underestimate the power of intention and positive thoughts. Look around in your own life at what you have. What you see physically in your world - your friends, relationship, job, possessions, wealth etc are all a manifestation of your emotional, spiritual and physical well being. For example, if you are emotionally depressed, you may have very few friends. If you believe that "money is evil" then you are unlikely to be rich. If you don't place health as a priority in your life you may be overweight or underweight and unfit.

To change anything on the outside, we must first change on the inside. You won't become fit and healthy if you don't have the internal desire. You won't become wealthy if you think about being poor.

After changing our attitude, we must then change our actions. Ideas or words without actions will produce little more than ideas alone.

Colonel Harland Sanders, the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, started the business as a retired man with a small pension and an old car, but with a chicken recipe he knew in his heart was a winner. He approached restaurant owners and planned to sell his chicken recipe to them. In return they would give him a residual for every piece of chicken they sold - 5 cents per chicken.

The first restaurateur he called on turned him down. So did the second, and the third. In fact, the first 1008 sales calls Colonel Sanders made ended in rejection. Still, he continued to call on owners as he traveled across the USA, sleeping in his car to save money. Prospect number 1009 gave him his first "yes" and after two years of making daily sales calls he had signed up a total of five restaurants. Still Harland pressed on, knowing that he had a great chicken recipe and that someday the idea would catch on. The Colonel's smiling face in so many cities across the world shows that the idea did catch on. Colonel Sanders franchise actually helped many people succeed in the restaurant business.

Colonel Sanders had an idea, and a positive attitude that his idea would succeed. But the path to success isn't just about wishful thinking. Success is due to action, action and more action.
I guess my point is that some people criticize “The Secret” because it seems so abstract. I don’t think any of those people in the movie are saying that by thinking about something it will magically appear. What does happen is that thinking certain thoughts will put you in the correct frame of mind to see certain opportunities and then have the courage and foresight to act correctly to make the dreams materialize.

The secret to a happy and successful life lies in, firstly, knowing exactly what you want, and secondly focusing your attention on achieving that. Setting goals and making time to achieve them is the best way to advance forward.

Every day when you wake up you begin the rest of your life. Every morning you decide how you will live that day. You choose your own life and your destiny.

Awesome!

Last night was my first night as a Group Assistant on a Dale Carnegie course and it was awesome. It began with some nerves. I thought about how well I knew my previous group and how we had become friends, and now I was back at the start with 35 unfamiliar faces.

But it wasn't the same. I was in the class knowing the material already and I had extra confidence that the others didn't have. I was able to mix with the group and talk easily with people, going up to complete strangers and start a conversation. And by the end of the night I knew almost everyones first and last name.

These are two skills that I always believed belonged to others, but now I see in myself that same ability and it was an awesome realisation.

It was also a lot of fun, even more than the first time, because the nerves left very quickly, and the ability to really enjoy the time was there.

Finishing Dale Carnegie for the first time was a great experience. Starting it all over again is simply awesome!

Serenity

I Made It!

Well, last night I finished my Dale Carnegie course and was voted by the group to receive the Award for Highest Achievement, an award they only give to one person in the class. It's for the person who has demonstrated the principles of the course to the highest level. It was quite humbling, and for a moment I was lost for words.

But only for a moment!

I will begin as a Group Assistant on another Dale Carnegie course in a week's time. And I'm excited to continue my path with Dale Carnegie.

The Music Is In You

A Step Closer...

Today I became a step closer to realising my dream of becoming a professional speaker and coach. I have been taking the Dale Carnegie course and I finish this Thursday. Tentatively I will begin as a group leader in another twelve-week course starting the following Wednesday (April 25th).

I have shown a lot of interest to the organization that runs the courses in Calgary that I would like to become a Trainer and they are taking steps now to facilitate that.

It is an exciting development and one that will start me on a new path.

The Dale Carnegie program started almost a hundred years ago and resonates today almost unchanged because it deals with the fundamentals in life, relating to having better relationships with people, being a strong leader and an effective communicator.

I'll keep you posted as to my progress.

Brainstorming Your Own Goals

One of the toughest things for so many of us to do is decide what it is we want to do with our life. Even when the pressure of earning an income is removed, as in retirement, it's a known fact that retirees who don't have something to keep them occupied die sooner than those who do.

For the Baby Boomers the crunch seemed to come in the forties and fifties when they hit a mid-life crisis, suddenly re-assessing their lives, what they had done and where they were going.

For Generation X (the children of the Baby Boomers) the problem seems to come about earlier in life. I can't count on both hands the number of my friends in their late twenties and early thirties who are changing careers, taking big chunks of time off (a year or more) to travel, going back to school or whatever to chase their dream. I have gone and continue to go through the same issues, and it's a tough time if you're stuck with no idea how to move forward.

One exercise I found helpful was a kind of brainstorming your goals. Sit down with a piece of paper and write 100 goals that you want to achieve given no restrictions and unlimited opportunities. This would include health, financial, personal, career, achievement, recognition goals and anything else that you can possibly imagine you would like in your life, no matter how big or small.

Doing this exercise, which takes between one and two hours I found the first forty or fifty quite easy to rattle off, but as I wrote more it became harder and harder and I had to really think about each one.

I did this with my wife. We sat opposite each other in a cafe and wrote down our goals independently. Then after we were finished we read them to each other one by one. It was a great learning experience for me about my wife as well as for myself.

The exercise forces you to think and re-think what you want out of life, and a theme to many of the goals will probably become fairly evident.

"Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important ongoing activity" - Paul Goodman (1911-1972)

Don't lose sight...

I heard a comment directed at me yesterday that I hear quite often, "Is there anything you don't do?"

My answer is usually, "I do most things." And that's the way I like it. People who know me well know how many different things I'm involved with, and what hobbies or pastimes I have. I do a lot, and I'm interested in doing a lot. My life consists of very little inactive time, and I feel I get great value for my time. Though sometimes all these activities can get a little overwhelming I'd rather have that than sit around wondering what to do next.

I guess the reason I do so much, (other than my lack of television viewing, which has already been discussed at length) is because I'm interested in doing a lot of different things. Why shouldn't I? Really, what value does it add to my life to not be interested in doing something?

For example... I enjoy painting, and I enjoy going to the theatre, but I also enjoy exercising, dinner parties, meeting new people, camping, travelling, investing, gardening, renovating, golf, ten-pin bowling, watching sport, walking, writing, reading and spending time with friends and family.

Is there a reason I shouldn't enjoy all of those activities?

Is there a reason I can't enjoy more activities and spend time doing them? Absolutely not!

If I want to take up yoga, sewing, fishing, cycling, swimming or playing the piano, can anyone stop me? Absolutely not!

Does it matter how good I am at any of those activities? Absolutely not!

As it turns out I'm pretty good at ten-pin bowling. I averaged 187 in the last season's league. This was the second highest average in our Monday-night Mixed League. I'm not good enough to make it to the TV leagues and bowl in any sort of championship, but I'm a pretty good league bowler on a Monday night. My point here is that even if I sucked at bowling there's no reason for me not to bowl if I enjoy myself. Whether I average 187 or 87 the point of bowling on a Monday-night mixed team is to have fun.

Far too many people don't attempt something because they are worried about how good they will be at the activity. When I started bowling my average was 135. I took some lessons, persevered and practiced and after two years I was bowling in the 180s. But my enjoyment for the game didn't change, I just got a bit better at it. There were still the same frustrations and challenges.

I took up painting a few years ago, and I quite enjoy it. It's very relaxing and I feel a sense of accomplishment after completing a piece. I've had my work exhibited at a few places, and after my first exhibition I hadn't sold anything and I spoke with my grandmother, a recognised artist in Australia, and her words were, "It doesn't matter whether you sell anything, so long as you enjoyed having you art exhibited for people to see."

I realised how often we lose sight of the real point in doing things. Far too often people get carried away with winning at all costs, when we're really participating for enjoyment and perhaps exercise or self-improvement.

Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough to do something. Vincent Van Gogh sold one painting when he was alive. Should he have never painted?

The Value of Time (Published Article)

Have the words “I just don’t have enough time” ever passed your lips? Have you ever wished for an extra one or two hours in the day?

It seems to be a common problem, but it’s not that there isn’t enough time, it’s that the time we have available isn’t being used efficiently.

Time isn’t something we can change, but our use of it is. Somehow people like Donald Trump seem to find enough time, so how can we squeeze a little more out of the orange?

Firstly, consider how important time is for you, and how much time is wasted every day. I treat my time like a scarce commodity, because I’m never sure just how much more of it I’ll have. Time is my only non-renewable resource.

If you work full-time, then you’re donating forty or more hours per week. Unless you can increase your hourly rate or decrease your expenses, this time spent is a given.

But what about the rest of your time?

A year or so ago my life came to a crunch. I felt I was close to a breakdown because I was overdoing it, committing to too many projects and trying to get too much done. What was disconcerting was that I felt I wasn’t giving enough attention to the parts of my life I valued most. I think most of us can relate to that.

So I wrote a list of the top ten ways I’d like to spend my time, and I compared it to the top ten ways I actually spent my time. The difference was staggering.

That was the day I gave up television.

Here are some of the ways I maximize the value I get from my time. I won’t spend time with people who don't appreciate me. I am continually trying to improve myself and my life and I actively enjoy the time I have doing what I place high on my priorities - reading, painting, exercising, socializing, writing, meditating, traveling, and most importantly being a Dad and husband.

An interesting statistic: The average Canadian watches television for 21.4 hours per week (source Stats Canada). Over a lifetime of say seventy-five years, that's 9 years and 193 days spent in front of the television.

Think about what you’ve achieved over the last nine or ten years and realize that’s what you might be giving up.

I didn’t watch 21.4 hours a week, but I had my weekly shows, and a few others I liked. But I saw how those shows got in the way of doing what I really wanted to do. Watching television wasn’t in my top ten.

By giving up television (I now watch between a half and one hour per week) my available time is more than nine years longer than the average Canadian.

On the other hand a fifty-year study completed in 2004 by BUPA's Health Information Team in the U.K. stated that smoking cuts life expectancy by ten years. So when you compare watching television to smoking, which continually gets bad press, you effectively miss out on about the same amount of time to actively live.

It's important that we not only respect our own time, but even more importantly, the time of others. It is only by being active in the time we have that we can accomplish and grow.

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book" - Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

If you have any comments, I’d like to hear them. Please email me at matthew@pagehanify.com

Choosing the Path

The path we take in life is just that, it's a path. Where that path goes is completely up to us. We make the choices and decisions which will guide our life in a certain direction.

In fact where we are today is a result of all the decisions and choices we have made up to this time. Look at every aspect of your life and think about how it came to be the way it is. Somewhere along the line you chose that to be a part of your life.

If you're not sure then think about these questions...

If you had a chance to live with anyone you wanted, and you had no prior history of living with anyone, who would it be? Would it be the person or people you currently live with? If not, why not? What would you choose differently starting tomorrow?

I think of my grandparents' generation and the fact that they were expected to stay married for ever through hell or high water. What if you made a poor decision in marrying the person you did. You were committed for ever to that poor decision and felt unable to make a good decision to leave the situation for something better. It very restricting and stressful when you feel you cannot undo a decision, or at least make one for whatever obligation.

Where would you live? Would you live in the town or city you currently live in? Would you live in the country, on an acreage, on an island? Would you live in a bigger city like London, Paris or New York? Would you live in a warmer climate, or a colder climate? Hawaii, southern France, Tuscany, northern Australia, Sweden?

I know that I wouldn't live in Calgary. Having lived in Australia, UK, Germany and Canada, I can say that my living conditions here are very good, and opportunities have been afforded to me that may not have come about had I lived elsewhere. I love being a part of the booming Calgary and Alberta economy. But the weather is cold, too cold for a Australian used to plus forty in Summer and highs around ten to fifteen degrees in Winter. I would choose a warmer climate. The Mediterranean looks good to me, perhaps also Hawaii or a smaller centre in Australia. But for me there's a time and a place for everything. Right now, my place is Calgary, and I'm happy to live here, though if I had to pick a place to live permanently, this would be my number one choice.

If you could work at anything and it would pay you enough that you could live comfortably, whether that's the same as you get now, or more if required, what would you do? What work would choose? What dream job would you love to work at and have the ideal situation of getting paid to do it?

I remember seeing an interview with Greg Norman, the "Great White Shark", legendary Australian golfer, winner of two British Opens and former World No 1 golfer. At the time when he was at the top of his golfing prowess, he said that he felt he had to be one of the luckiest people in the world, because he loved playing golf and he was paid millions to do it.

Other questions to ask would be, would you like to have more children or less children, be fitter or healthier, travel more or be more stable, have more or different hobbies or interests, different friends, more excitement or less excitement?

Every aspect in our life is a result of the choices we make and have made.

One final question to ponder. If you could choose your personality, how would it be? Would you be more energetic, more outgoing or quieter, a better listener or a better talker, more friendly or more or less anything?

As you think about that remember that every morning when you wake up, you choose your personality. You choose how you will be that day. You choose it if will be a good day or a bad day.

In my book, every day is a good day to be alive.