The Businessman

The Businessman is tall and thin
With a moustache and a grin.
He has lots of money
To spend on his honey.
He blows it on coke
Drags on a smoke.
It all looks so ideal
The real meal deal,
But it's not a smile of gold
Just a grin... and that gets old.

The Runner

The runner runs.
He runs and runs.
Runs and runs.
And runs some more.
Then he keeps running.
Runs and runs.
He stops.
The race is not over.
There is no race.
He has not won.
He will never win.
There is no race.
He just won.

Passion Test

Last night I finished doing a passion test. It's easy enough to do for yourself and it's interesting becasue it gets you thinking about exactly what it is you love to do.

1. Simply write your passions on individual 3x5 cards - one passion per card.
2. Then compare two at a time and decide which you are more passionate about.
3. Keep cycling through until you have put in order from most to least your passions.

It was most illuminating. I was quite surprised how my passions are different to where I'm spending my time... and actaully quite different to where I had planned to spend my time.

Time to re-organize!

Poor Zebra

The Zebra has stripes
Black and white
Which are they?
Black or white?
Is he striped to the bone?
What colour is his meat?
Is it all on the surface?
From his head to his feet?
Or from his brain to his heart?
Do we admire him for what he is?
Or what he isn't?
Poor Zebra.

I'm back!

It's been brought to my attention that this blog has become overrun with cobwebs and dust. I'm brushing all that aside and I'm back writing. There's no time like the present!

No Guarantees

Larry Iwan was a gentleman I worked with for almost three years. I haven't actually seen him since my last day at that company just over a year ago. He retired last Friday apparently in good health and died on Monday. He didn't even get a day off.

There are no guarantees in life.

Obituary from Calgary Herald

IWAN Lawrence John "Lars" May 9, 1938 - December 8, 2008

The Following Obituary Contains Memories That Could Be Offensive To Some Readers. Did that grab your attention?

Good, because the guy that the following is about, liked to get peoples attention. Lawrence John Iwan, or Larry as he was known to many and Lars to many more, unexpectedly passed away this past Monday morning at 70 years of age. All things considered we think that is about thirty years too soon.

To say that Larry cut a unique path through life would be a grievous understatement and a true injustice to a man who truly saw no boundaries and made it a priority to soak up all that life had to offer every single day.

His cup was always half full even when merely a drop remained. Born in Winnipeg's north end in 1938, John and Jessie's proudly Polish boy would chase inclination, love and adventure across Canada for the next several decades, eventually settling in Calgary with his beloved wife and best friend Kathy.

Larry relished the awkward moments in life; often working tirelessly to initiate them. He was the icebreaker that every room needs. Quick witted and blessed with an extremely high IQ, he really could do anything that he set his mind to. A fistful of successful careers that included; race car driving, politics, photography, music and sales to name just a few.

Long days and busy nights with the ultimate pay off, weekends at the lake, Lars loved the lake it was his little piece of paradise. We can say with some confidence that the waters of Lake Mara will never be the same. We also suspect that insurance rates will come down now that he is off the water.

This past May to mark the occasion of his 70th birthday Lars went on a pub-crawl with his wife, kids and friends. A bus was rented, a course was charted, and like a band of merry pranksters, Lars and his posse traveled the city celebrating life's rich pageant at every stop along the way. In hindsight very apropos for a man who truly lived his life enjoying each and every stop along the way.

We love you Lars ... Now get back on that bus, the next stop has dancing girls! Larry is survived by his wife Kathy Stirling, whom he adored more than life itself, and his children, Michelle, Debbie, Dwight, Darren and Dale, their spouses Rene, Jarrett, Monique and Gail; his grandchildren Jordan, Claire, Max, Cooper and Adam and his father-in-law Donald "Radar" Stirling.

188.8 lbs

On October 3rd When I hit my goal weight a friend of mine said, "It's all well and good to hit your target, but it'll be interesting to see where you're at three months later."

Well, this morning I weighed in at 188.8 lbs, so I guess I'm still on track!

191.2 lbs

Today is the weight goal day. Three months ago I set myself the goal of losing 10% of my body mass to drop to 190 lbs. This morning I jumped on the scales and registered a mere 191.2 lbs. My wife and I agreed that should I starve myself all day I would be able to drop the 0.3 lbs to be 190 something.

I made it!

The amazing revelation that I've come to is that after losing twenty pounds on a body most people wouldn't have said needed to lose weight, I can see there's room to lose another ten pounds, perhaps more. The last time I was weighing in the 180s I was in my early twenties. I feel ten years younger!

I feel so much better now too. All my clothes fit loosely, I've gone in at least one belt hole on all my belts. I have so much more energy and I'm fitter, due to the increase in exercise.

This increase in exercise, by the way, has been simply walking to and from work three or four days a week. It's a 45-minute walk each way, and includes a hill-climb. I still only get to the gym once or twice a week, but the walks have given me six to eight extra cardio workouts.

My portions are smaller now. I'm following the portion sizes on packaging far more closely, and I realise I don't need to eat so much to feel "full". I'm also eating more often, making sure I get in a mid-morning snack and a mid-afternoon snack. I still eat sweets and the like, but far fewer and I far less frequently. I have also cut way back on my alcohol consumption, and have replaced it with water. There are so many empty calories in alcohol, that they really tally up quickly.

So my goal is now set on five pound increments of weight loss. I'll re-assess each five pounds to see where I'd like to end up to maximise my feeling of health and well-being.

Art Show

Today I opened up my house to show and sell my art. For me this has been a mental block, but I'm so glad to have done it now, I can start planning the next one. Although it would have been nice to see more people come out, I was very happy to have sold 6 pieces. It starts to make some room for the new creations that are in the pipeline!

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."
- William Shakespeare

211.4 lbs

Today I was at a friend's place and we both jumped on the scales. He recorded 212.0 lbs and I was 211.4 lbs. That's about ten pounds lighter than the heaviest I've been, but it's still more than I'd like to be. So we made a commitment to drop 10% of our body mass by October 3rd. That would have me at 190 lbs, a weight I haven't been since before I came to Canada in 2002.

My wife, Gosia, also committed to losing 10% of her body mass which would have her back at her pre-pregnancy weight. I won't say what the numbers are... women are sensitive about that kind of stuff.

Status Symbols (Published article)

Oprah Winfrey’s “Big Give” has just finished playing on television. For those who never watched it or saw the promotions for it, Oprah had a number of contestants on the program giving to people in need each week. The person who gave the least or had the least effect was voted off by a high-profile panel of “expert givers”.

What struck me about this was the apparent “backwardness” of the show. Instead of the contestants trying to get the most for themselves they were trying to give the most away.

Why I say this is backward is because in life the status symbols people crave are possessions. Very few would brag about the amount of money they gave to charities last year, though the same people would happily take you to their garage to see their new car or take you on a tour of their home pointing out the various upgrades, or show you the photos from their recent holiday.

Why don’t people proclaim how much they give away?

It’s odd that it’s actually seen as rude to brag about the amount of money one donates, yet it’s not rude to casually discuss the money one spends on oneself.

In an age of abundance and in many cases gluttony, there are still massive portions of the world that struggle daily to even feed themselves.

So it is interesting then that now as our society becomes more conscious of mother earth, of waste and of understanding others, that the status symbols that still thrive are the self-centered, wastefully extravagant kind. We’re all guilty, myself included. In this day and age it’s nearly impossible not to get caught up, especially in a city as wealthy as Calgary is.

“And what’s wrong with that anyway?” You may be asking.

I guess nothing. Everyone makes their own choices as to how they want to allocate their resources, financial or otherwise. People tend to allocate where they see themselves getting the most bang for the buck.

What bang are people looking for when they buy status symbols? Prestige perhaps. Uniqueness. Popularity… even fame. And what will that buy them? Happiness would be the hope, but happiness is rarely if ever the result. True happiness comes from knowing yourself, from self-satisfaction, from making a difference, from contribution to others. Essentially happiness comes from giving.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mohandas Gandhi.

The problem with all these things that we acquire is they steal time away from us. Last week my automatic garage door stopped working. I know it’s not a status symbol, but it is a sign of abundance. So now I’ll have to get it fixed, so that I can access my garage. If I didn’t have an automatic garage door I wouldn’t be losing any time this week getting it fixed! As a society we run so many errands and make shopping trips to purchase status symbols, or upgrading the ones we bought last year that no longer cut the mustard.

If we replaced that time in acquisition mode with time in giving mode we would likely find ourselves more at peace with the world. In addition to the benefit that would be seen by our friends and family, who would spend more quality time with us, we would also have a fair bit of spare change left over. We could give it away to someone who needs it more than we need to buy yet another flat screen plasma television!

Choices (Published Article)

The path we take in life is just that, it’s a path. Where that path goes is completely up to us. We make the choices and decisions which will guide our life in a certain direction.

In fact where we are today is a result of all the decisions and choices we have made up to this time. Look at every aspect of your life and think about how it came to be the way it is. Somewhere along the line you chose that to be a part of your life.

I was thinking about one of the conscious choices I make – my friends. On the weekend we had a party for some of our friends and there were fourteen of us in total. I was paid a compliment by one friend who didn’t know many of the others when she said, “Your friends are really nice people.”

It’s nice when someone pays you a compliment, and especially nice when they compliment your good judgement. We enjoy our friends and although we have only lived in Calgary for five years we have a strong network, which has taken time and energy to build.

I remember when my wife and I first came to Calgary. We didn’t know anyone and on weekends we would stay at home and play board games. Our phone would only ring when a telemarketer called, and I would relish the opportunity to speak with them!

We made a conscious effort to make friends. We played on teams through sporting socials clubs and we looked in every place we could think where friendly people might exist who could become our friends. We were prepared to put in a concerted effort to invite them for dinner or to organize outings together.

As a result we now have a strong network and find ourselves busy on most weekends, spending time with friends. In this column I have previously mentioned the value of time, and I have chosen to spend my time with good friends. These are the sorts of people we can rely on, who are honest and whom we can trust, with whom we have interesting conversations based on common interests and intellect. These are all people I could trust with my children or my wallet. They are people who make us feel special. These are people who enrich our life.

Becoming friends with all of these people took effort on our part, but the rewards are great. As life goes on I see that what makes our lives valuable is less concerned with the monetary wealth we have, but the golden friends around us.

No matter what situation you’re in now with regards to your friends or anything else in your life, ask yourself whether you would choose what you have now if given the opportunity to start fresh.

When you think about your friends could you trust them all? Are they always reliable? Do they ever let you down? Do you respect them? Do you get excited to see them? Do they make you feel good when you’re together? Do they make you feel like you are important to them?
It’s important to respect yourself so that you surround yourself only with the people who deserve your friendship. Along the way we have met many more people than we are now friends with. Our friends today are the ones we consciously chose to become friends with.

So far, the diligent effort and perseverance has resulted in a happy social life for us. Diligent effort and perseverance is a formula for success in any aspect of life.

Living My Dream

I'm instructing a Dale Carnegie in Red Deer that stared last night. As I drove home at around 10pm, it was late and I was tired, but I was wired. The reason - I'm living my dream. It struck me that after years and years of doing something for someone else and getting little satisfaction, I am now doing what I've always dreamed of doing.

It's a great feeling, because I know so many people who dread going to work, but I love my work. My time is precious and I'm spending it the way I want to. Being out late until 10pm isn't ideal, but it doesn't feel like work.

When I think back to just over a year ago when I started taking the Dale Carnegie Course, I didn't think that a year later I would be working for them and training a class. In fact I know that when I sat in the class as a Marketing Manager, becoming a Corporate Trainer seemed like such a leap that I had no idea how I would get there. Now I realize that you don't necessarily need to see all the steps, so long as you can visualize the direction.

Life changes very quickly when you make it happen. I committed to doing whatever it would take to change my life and now, here I am. Anything's possible.

Trapped (Published Article)

One of my new year’s resolutions was to read books I have on my shelf that somehow remain unread. It’s part of my de-cluttering and simplifying of my life. I have just finished Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.

It’s a well-known story of Anne Frank, a young Jewish girl in hiding from 1942 to 1944 with seven other people in a “secret annexe” – secret rooms above an office in Amsterdam. Because their survival relied on as few people as possible knowing that they were there, they had to remain silent throughout the days, not even using water, which might alert the office-workers below that people were hiding upstairs. Every day they worried they could be discovered and taken by the Nazis. To survive they relied on hoping for the war to end and the Nazis to be defeated.

What made me think was how these people were trapped in this life. Anne had been such a friendly, sociable person but was restricted to being friends with the seven others in hiding, two of whom were her parents and one her sister. I started to think about our lives and how we too are trapped – not physically but mentally. Anne was trapped because of her race and the horrible war situation, but how many of us are trapped in our own world. We’re trapped inside our comfort zone.

The limits that exist in our life are the ones we place on ourselves. In general people hold themselves back more often in life because of a lack of confidence than a lack of potential or ability.

Take a moment to think about your life and what you do regularly. How often do you push yourself to the point of being scared or uncomfortable? How often do you try new activities or attempt something that you’ve previously been unsuccessful at?

If you’re not pushing yourself and striving to do new and scary things then you’re not expanding your comfort zone. And the unfortunate part of that is that if it’s not expanding it’s contracting. As children we spend every day expanding our comfort zones and skill levels. Just watch a one-year-old learn to walk. There’s a period of instability, many falls and bumps into table corners but with every injury comes a stronger resolve to try again and become better. Eventually the children master the skill of walking and begin to run and jump. We take walking for granted but there was a point in our life when, as we lay on our stomachs licking dust off the carpet, it may have seemed like an impossible dream.

Somehow as adults we change and stop at the first failure or sign of failure. It appears that the encouraging environment that children grow up in evaporates as adults don’t seem to believe that encouragement is still relevant.

People need encouragement and they need to dream and have people support their dreams. Donald Trump sees that the difference between himself and others is that he thinks big. “I have to think anyway, so I might as well think big.”

Within a positive environment we feel safe thinking big and chasing our goals. Within a supportive environment we feel it is okay to fail along the way. Within an open and loving environment we recognize that we all face similar challenges and have similar worries and concerns and that we’re all here to help each other.

Unlike Anne Frank we are not forced to be a prisoner. Let’s not be imprisoned by self-imposed limits. Throw caution to the wind, take a risk - that leap of faith. Recognize that anything’s possible.

For friends...

On Sunday I spent 9 hours at a friend's place painting this mural on their two-year-old son's bedroom wall. They're expecting a second child in a few months and their son is moving into this room to make way for the new addition. The boy loves Thomas the Tank Engine and wanted this for his room, and with my painting experience and having also painted a mural for my own children's bedroom I was confident I could get the job done.

Amber, the boy's mother, helped me with the mural and we worked well together as a team. Though it was a lot of work and I was quite tired at the end of it all, it was very enjoyable and very satisfying.

I realise what an awesome gift I was able to give them and their son, because there will be years of enjoyment that they will get from the mural. It's amazing how a gift that took nine hours to give can create such a lasting enjoyment.

Those are the gifts that have tremendous value. What's interesting is that is cost me nothing, yet it has a lot more value than any gift we have given them or their son.

Time is valuable, when we value it. When we can do good things with our time and give our time to others we can have a huge effect on them.

What is also interesting is the positive feeling I now have from creating this for them, and the strengthening of our friendship as a result.

Orbs and stuff...

Last night after watching a video about orbs I decided to take some pictures outside and see what I would get. I have had orbs in my pictures before but never to the extent that I got last night... This is the brightest orb I've ever photographed. The photo was taken looking up at the cloudy sky. You would swear I was taking a photo of the moon, but it's an orb! You can see the colours on each side of the orb are different too. There is some "spirit mist" on the right. That white stuff that looks like fog or something was not there in the previous or subsequent photos.

If you zoom into the "spirit mist" at the bottom of the photograph you can see that it looks like a face. This photo is taken from my front door looking straight into the night sky. You can see the roof line of my house in the top right corner.

This was the second picture I took, and i was blown away by the "spirit mist"!

This one taken on the sidewalk in front of our house - a huge orb!

Here's some more spirit mist, when I took a picture of my friend Rob. Again, in the previous and subsequent pictures that were taken only seconds apart, the shot was clear. It's weird! I have never had this happen to my pictures before, but I've also never just taken dozens of photos one after the otehr looking for this either!

World Peace (Published Article)

World Peace seems like the impossible dream. It doesn’t seem to matter who is driving the cause or how much money is put behind it, attempts at world peace all seem to fail somewhere along the line. That’s not to say that all efforts are in vain. Certainly I’m a big proponent of being friendly and getting along with people where possible.

The interesting thing about the concept of “world peace” is that for there to be peace in the world, there has to also be peace at home. If two brothers can’t get along, then how can we expect people of different races, religions and various backgrounds to cooperate?

I believe that if we can solve the problems at home, we can solve the problems of the world, and the reason is simple. The same reason why two family members don’t see eye to eye is the same reason two countries don’t see eye to eye.

It sounds simplistic, and perhaps it is, but that’s the beauty of it all. There are a couple of principles that if followed would go a long way to eliminating turmoil and wars.

The first is communication -open and honest communication. As I watch my two year old daughter as she’s learning to speak, form sentences and grow her vocabulary, I see how excited she is. Every day she learns something new and she’s just itching to practice. What happens between that age and becoming a teenager when it seems the lines of communication shut down and no one wants to talk any more?

Marriages break down and countries go into war against each other because they fail to remain in consistent communication and let their assumptions take over.

When communication is done well it becomes the strength in a relationship or in an organization, but when it is done poorly it can be single most destructive force. I’ve worked in places that have such poor communication that everything was learned “on the grapevine” or at the water cooler. There was constant gossiping and a lot of ill-feeling, simply because there was a lack of healthy communication from managers and between colleagues.

The second is to try and see things from the other person’s point of view. Most of the arguments (and these very big arguments become wars) that happen are a result of people not putting themselves in the other person’s shoes and making a real attempt to see it from their point of view. Sometimes that means to physically put yourself there – sit in their chair, put on their clothes, spend a day shadowing them. Ask questions why. Be genuinely interested in their life and find out what makes them tick, and why! When you begin asking people questions about their life you will be amazed at how interesting they are. Below the surface there are so many hidden treasures and experiences, it seems a shame that there are very few outlets that will allow them to come forth, and also our reluctance to talk about them.

When you truly understand why someone does something and you can put yourself in their position, you may still not agree with their point of view, but it’s much more difficult to get angry about it.

Often we look to other places to try and solve problems. It’s easier than dealing with our own issues. We complain about the world and we become victims of our environment. If we turned that energy into making the best of our own lives, the one by one we could save the world. World Peace is achievable, one household at a time.

Resolutions (Published Article)

At the beginning of the year so many people make resolutions... to lose weight, to get fit, to change jobs, to find a partner. It’s why gyms across the city are packed with people in January and February on a quest to shed some of the Christmas pounds. But why are the gyms returning to normal usage by March and April? Why is it that so many people don’t follow through on their new year resolutions? I’m as guilty as the next person for not following through on some of these goals.

Often a lack of time is blamed... or life gets in the way.

But, honestly, what is the reality? The reality is that the goal was not a high enough priority. I don't buy the reason that “there isn’t enough time”. We have all the time we’re ever going to have. We cannot create more time. We can make more time for the things that are of a high priority.

Let me give you an example. You may “not have time” to go to the gym today, but you do have time to work late, visit friends, watch television, go shopping or attend an evening course etc. I only use the example of going to the gym because it seems to be one of the most common resolutions.

So how can you make a new year resolution become a part of who you are, to become a new habit?

When NASA was first preparing its astronauts for space they were concerned of how the convex lens of their helmets would cause disorientation. So they had the would-be astronauts wear convex goggles which made everything appear upside down. After 21 days the astronauts’ minds had flipped the image back so that everything appeared normal even though they were still wearing the goggles. For a group of the astronauts they removed the goggles for one day on day 17, and found that for the mind to flip the images the 21 day period started all over again, even though the habit was broken for just one day.

From this we can conclude that it takes a minimum of three consecutive weeks of doing a new task before it becomes a habit. Make that four weeks to be on the safe side.

What stops people from doing something consistently for just three or four weeks? The answer - a decent reason. If the reason is not important enough and the want is not great enough then why would anyone do something different?

It’s about creating a strong reason, backed up with feeling, emotion and a concrete desire to change. It’s about creating a vision for where you want to get to. Seeing that vision clearly in your mind’s eye and having a knowing that you will get there. It’s about moving yourself towards that vision without hesitation and making time for it, because it is the highest priority. Any resolution with power needs to be a stepping stone to fulfilling the vision you have for yourself. If it’s part of your big plan then you’ll have reason to strive to achieve it.

One thing you’ll also know is that if things get uncomfortable, then you are moving yourself forward. When you are uncomfortable you are working outside your comfort zone and expanding it.

So, know where you want to get to. See that clearly in your mind. Visualize it every day. Set resolutions or goals that will propel you there and follow through every day and your life will change!

“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.” - Helen Keller 1880-1968

A TV Star

Our 3 1/2 month old daughter made her television debut on Saskatoon's CTV 6pm news on December 28th, 2007. Our friend is the Sports Announcer for CTV news and we watched the broadcast in the studio. Because Delilah had been so well behaved they decided to get her on at the very end. See the link below to watch it on You Tube.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PgUrEJsXz54

If the link doesn't work for you go to http://www.youtube.com/ and search "Delilah CTV", and it will come up.

Happy New Year!