Patience

6:42am the alarm cuts through the air with its menacing beep. I hit the blue button and it stops.
At precisely 6:48am the alarm sounds again loud enough it seems to wake up the neighbourhood. Silenced again by the blue button.

6:54am and for the third and final time the beeping returns. I flick the switch, and the snooze feature is disabled. I have now taken full responsibility for ensuring my timely arrival at work.

Time... time... time.

What is time? When did it begin? When will it end? Tomorrow, yesterday, the future, the past. None of it really exists. Well, it does sort of exist, because we, as humans, created it. But it's not something that can be captured or stopped or preserved.

If we never created clocks we would simply exist... Exist in the present time.

We can only exist in the present time. In fact, everything only happens in the present. Nothing ever happened in the past and nothing will ever happen in the future. It only happens in the present.

Of course, for the sake of simplicity of living in the modern world we have sychronized watches that help us conduct business, keep appointments and generally get on with life.

The thing with time, is that we have to rush around in our lives to be on time, to not run late, to be punctual. The problem with this thing called time is that it makes us impatient.

Impatience is the bane of anyone trying to get from one place in their life to another. I know that far too often I'm looking forward to the next step, the next goal, the next progession. Rather than consistently looking forward, and being impatient about how long it's all taking I know I need to relax and enjoy the ride, however long it takes.

Life is a journey to be enjoyed, not rushed through to the end... because we all know where the end gets us. One way or the other our lives will continue on and it makes no difference whether or not we rush. We'll all still get to the end at the same rate, some will just have more stress than others.

Giving and Receiving

I'm just as guilty as the next person when it comes to giving and receiving, but it's a very interesting topic.

In general people give what they would like to receive, or give what they would like to give, however, what is more appropriate is to give what the receiver would like to receive. As a typical man this is something I am often reminded of. That's why it's good to have a team of advisors of the opposite sex.

Think about it...

If you're fishing and you want to catch some fish, what do you put on the end of the line? Obviously worms, or something like that. Something that the fish wants. There's no point in piercing a twenty dollar bill to the end of the line, because the fish isn't interested in money. Likewise a gift of a can of worms isn't going to make that many people happy (unless of course they're fishermen!) That's why we give flowers or chocolate or wine etc. (As a man do you wonder how anyone could be overjoyed at receiving a bunch of flowers, and not be so happy to have a new car stereo, even though the stereo costs twenty times more!)

When it comes to the most valuable thing to give, it's something that you don't lose by giving it away. If you have money and give it away you don't have it anymore. If you have a rare collector's baseball from the 1956 World Series, and give it away you don't have it anymore. But if you give away love and respect and friendship and good feelings and support, you still have them to give over and over. In fact, the more of that you give away, the more of it you get in return.

In life we tend to equate everything to a monetary value. Indeed that's how our legal system can manage to equate hardship and suffering into a specific dollar amount that is supposed to alleviate the "victim's" problems. We equate riches to happiness. We believe that the sports car or the bigger home with a better view will complete our life's dreams, but if you don't have anyone to share that with, what's the point. There will always be an emptiness.

Everything doesn't have a monetary equivalent, and anything that is really worth something cannot be valued or even bought.

It's nice to give gifts to people, and it's nice to receive gifts, but it's even nicer to be respected, loved and called a friend.

Still eating less and feeling great!

Since my blog on the 31st August "Eating to Live Healthily" I have lost an additional 3 pounds, and have maintained my moderated eating amounts. In that time I have had no stomach complaints (which used to be a regular occurrence for me) and I have felt stronger and more energetic.

I may on to something here!

The Journey... and being left behind.

With all the changes happening in my life, the potential arises for worry that loved ones and friends may not be on the same journey and may feel as though they are being left behind.

Could this happen?

I guess it could, if the friends weren't interested in seeing a different point of view, and weren't interested in exploring new ideas. The spiritual journey I am on is not about joining a particular religion or sect. There are no rules and no particular habits that must be adopted (like attending a church or not eating certain foods etc.) It's completely open, and my new beliefs do not adversely affect others around me in an overt manner.

Yes, what I believe is not as prescribed in the Christian faith for I believe in past lives, spirits, ghosts and angels. I believe in karma and life paths, but I do also believe in free choice and that we aren't just puppets following a fatalistic future. Nothing about any of this is that radical in itself. In fact if I believed in UFOs and little green men, then that would be just as "out there" in many people's minds, although it is widely accepted as possible.

For my friends and loved ones to support me on my journey all I need is for them to acknowledge the possibility of spirits, ghosts and past lives. They don't need to believe in it and act on it like I do, but if they can acknowledge that this all may be possible, then that's good enough for me.

I think of it like I am swimming in the vast ocean, on my way somewhere new and exciting. I'm ploughing through the water and growing in strength and learning all about life as I do it. I'm experiencing the journey. My friends and loved ones are on the support boat, travelling alongside me and watching everything from a close, yet safe distance. And although I grow in strength with every stroke I take, I never distance myself from those in the boat. In fact, when the major part of the journey is over and I get out of the water, I may be tired, I may be wet, but I'll still be essentially the same person I was, albeit stronger, and I may have some different interests, hobbies or occupation, but it will still be me.

The journey can be a lonely one, but in my mind it doesn't have to be a distancing one, given some understanding on both sides.

First Meditation

Last night our meditation circle met for the first time. There were four of us, three male and one female. It was an awesome experience. I went completely under and drifted off into a whole new world.

When I "awoke" I was seeing golden auras around the others in the group, the first time I had seen any sort of colour in an aura surrounding a person. It's a small step but also a big one.

Afterwards we chatted for a while, getting to know each other better and discussing our experience with the meditation.

When I woke up this morning, I felt as though I had a very satisfying sleep. I would describe is as compact. I feel like I got tremendous value from my time asleep and was very refreshed. In fact my work colleague described me today as "vibrating with energy" so it must be good for me!

The group will continue to meet on Mondays and will possibly expand our group by two more for next week. In between I will endeavour to meditate at least once or twice on my own.

I see great things happening for all of us from this group.

Seeing My Spirit Guide

While I was in with the psychic she talked about the fact that I may have been seeing angels, and spirits etc, but not known what I was seeing and therefore dismissed it as something else. Like a dentist can look into your mouth and see cavities, receding gums and plaque, and all I would see is teeth and a tongue. It's about knowing what to look for.

She told me about my spirit guides, and namely Michael, my main guide. She talked about him being behind my right shoulder. As she spoke I could see a dark shadow glowing bronze at my right shoulder.

Then she talked about angels being flashes of light, and I immediately saw two flashes of light the size of tennis balls, and each one stayed "illuminated" for about half a second. Coincidence? I think not.

She also taught me techniques for exercising my third eye, to allow myself to see the spirit realm, and I've started doing them, and yes, things are beginning to happen!

No Limits

Today I went to see a psychic, to learn more about my purpose in this lifetime, my spirit guides and what my next steps should be.

It returned some interesting information. My lesson in this lifetime is to realize that there are no limits in my life. The ones that exist are only the pretend ones I created for myself.

I grew up in a stable middle class family, that promoted all the good stuff in life... go to school, get good grades, get a university degree, get a good job with a steady paycheque, buy a house, pay off the mortgage, invest a little and retire in your fifties or sixties. Ideal eh?

Well, I guess it's a pretty good foundation, but from where I stand it's only a foundation. It's served me well for the first thirty-one years of life, but now it's not working anymore.

The psychic told me (and when I heard it, I knew immediately that it was true) I need to abandon the limits. That's my life lesson. Limits don't apply to me and when I know this, everything will change. I believe that is also where I'm going to help others in their lives.

The steady paycheque is great, but working for someone else will never achieve my own goals, it only achieves theirs. Of course, in the meantime I need a steady paycheque, and the job I have is great for that. I'm not throwing out the baby with the bathwater just yet!

The time has come for me to take life by the horns and make moves down my chosen path in life. I have begun writing a book, with much of the material coming from ideas in this blog.

I'm meeting new people and discussing new ideas, and I feel completely energized for the first time in a long time, that I'm finally getting things to happen.

The Fog

The last couple of years have been the foggy years for me. I've felt unfulfilled in aspects of my life, and I've taken up new interests, like painting that have inspired me to change my thinking about where my life might be heading.

I feel that the fog may be starting to lift, ever so slightly. A few weeks ago I met a guy (we'll call him R.) at a session on spirit guides. As there were 19 women and three men, I felt compelled to sit next to one of the other in our visible minority.

We chatted for a while before and after the session, and talked about putting together a meditation group (aka meditation circle) that would meet every Monday evening. He had been a part of a group for a year, but I have only meditated on a few, very rewarding, occasions.

So yesterday we met for a drink to chat some more, and get to know each other and discuss in a little more detail what we could do with this group, and suddenly I started to see the fog lift a little. As I talked with R. I started to see a new way forward. I've begun writing a book about this journey I'm on, and indeed some of what is written here will be material for the book.

I started to see how I can begin to help the other thousands and millions of people going through their own life changes and awakenings, and I feel that will be answering my calling.

Frustrations

It's a frustrating feeling when you have an idea of where you want to go, what you want to do, and how you want to be, but somehow you're not getting there. When it seems the goals keep moving further away with every small step you take towards them.

I'm feeling a bit like that right now. I know I want to open my eyes (and third eye) to the spirit realm, but it's not happening yet. And I know that's just the frustration of wanting everything right now... something we've all been taught as the accepted way of life in the western world.

I must keep reminding myself that there is no time like the present... that the journey is more important than the goal... that if it's not happening now, then I'm not ready for it now... that this moment in time is just as precious as any other moment in time, and I should treat it with the same respect, not look forward or back to better times. It's difficult be become discontented with where you're at in life if you forget to savour the present, and I know this is what I'm going through now.

I have to remind myself to learn what I can each day, and just continue to move forward, as slowly as that journey is.

I'm writing a book!

I've decided that I really am going to write that book and I started in earnest today. I have actually written a 300-page, rather mediocre story, but that's not what this is all about.

I want to help others going through the same turmoil that has turned my life around over the past few years and help them deal with it better and hopefully more efficiently than I have.

So through a style that is both fictional and factual I will put together a few thousand words in a hopefully meaningful order and make it happen.

I started today. I have a theme, the titles of my ten chapters and have begun the outline.