What Do You Do?

Not "How do you do?", but "What do you do?" is usually one of the first questions asked of you by an almost-stranger that you meet at a party.

It's an interesting question to ask, really, and completely logical when you think about it. Someone who works full-time spends almost one third of their week either at work or commuting. When you consider that the average person also spends almost a third sleeping, it's around half of the waking time. So it is a fair enough question to ask what someone does with half of their waking time.

But how many people do not identify themselves with their job? I, for one. In fact I know many people who are working in a job that doesn't represent the kind of person they are... it simply pays the bills.

I actually dislike answering that question, because I feel that a short response will give a false impression. For example:

"What do you do for a living?"
"I work in marketing for a car dealership."
"Oh. Can you get a me a good deal on a new car?"
"Well, I don't actually sell cars..." etc.

You see I get caught in a conversation about marketing, cars, the fate of the US domestic manufacturers and the price of gas when I have no interest in any of them!

But what about the question, "What are your interests?"

To that I have a wide selection of answers I could put forward, all of which are interesting to me because they are my interests, and maybe my enthusiasm for it might make you interested in hearing about them.

But that's beside the real point.

What does our job really mean? Whether or not we identify with our job, which many don't, what real difference does it make what we do for a living?

I was reading a parenting magazine today and the article was talking about parents having dreams for their children, and that - (I paraphrase) "...all good parents want their children to be successful. Which parent looks at their one-hour-old infant and wants them to become a telemarketer?"

I'm not a telemarketer and I don't personally know anyone who is, but I thought very little of that last statement. After all, what's wrong with being a telemarketer? It's just as honorable a job as a politician or lawyer or car salesman. There's no difference in quality of person between a telemarketer or garbage collector and a Chief Financial Officer or a Chemical Engineer.

We're all the same, relatively speaking, and we all serve a purpose on this planet. Some people get paid more than others, but that isn't the only measure of value. Someone may be a more valuable employee, but that says little about their value as a friend or partner, parent or role model. Tiger Woods and Tom Cruise are a couple of the best paid individuals on earth, but that doesn't mean their any better a person than I am or you are. They're just richer.

As a society we spend far too much time placing value on things outside of us - what we do for a living, what we own, where we live, what people think of us. These are all superficial, and have no meaning when we're dead.

Would you rather a eulogy that read...

Bill was a great man. He will be remembered for the hours he sweated at the office, and the huge bonuses he took home at the end of the year. As a member of the most exclusive clubs he circulated only with the hob nobs in the city. His taste was impeccable and he bought only the finest money could afford. His collection of old cars and his beautiful home are a testimony to his clever investments and excellent earning capacity.

Or this...

Bill was a great man. He will be remembered for the hours he put in coaching his son's baseball team, and for the funny stories he told at the family camping trips. As a friend he was the best. Always there to lend a helping hand and the first to invite you over for dinner or a beer. His happy wife and beautiful children are a testimony to his tireless effort to always give back more than he took.

Like most parents I have a dream for my children. My dream is that they have many and varied experiences, that they learn about life and cherish their friends, and that they are satisfied and fulfilled in whatever pursuits they choose. I would like my children to appreciate what's real, and have a healthy self-esteem based on respect and knowing that who they are is the most important, not what they do, what they own or what other people think about them.

Think about life and what matters. Think about your own life and what excites you, and which days you don't need the alarm to get up. Those are the days you're really living and that's really what "you do."

So... What do I do?

I paint, I read, I learn, I travel, I coach, and most of all, I'm a Dad, a husband and a good friend.