Why getting rich quickly is impossible

I grew up in Australia and left in 2000 to live in London, England for 18 months. I had a number of good friends when I left Australia, and when I moved to a city with almost as many people as the whole of Australia I imagined finding and making friends would be easy. The reality was the opposite.

After meeting my future wife, I moved to Canada. She grew up in Edmonton, but we started our lives together in Calgary, a three-hour drive south of Edmonton. When we arrived here we were poor. We had each other, but not much else. Even our friendship was in the infant stages, and at times it was lonely for both of us. Regular weekend trips back to Edmonton made us feel like we belonged somewhere and had meaning to someone.

I was on a visa that made working difficult, and when that ran out, it made it illegal. My wife started working as a nurse, and we made it by on her income. After almost a year we scraped together enough money to put a down-payment on our first house in Calgary, but we still had very little money. We bought a fixer-upper to save on the cost, and I did the renovation work to make the place liveable. We had to save up for two weeks each time we wanted to spend a hundred dollars on a light fixture or paint for a room. Indeed, nearly every corner was cut, and every economy found to make each dollar stretch as far as it could.

But we didn't let our lack of financial reserves prevent us from making friends and entertaining guests at our home. We diligently pursued every opportunity to meet people and mix in new circles. Still, many Friday and Saturday nights were spent, just the two of us, at home playing a board game or cards. Sometimes we rented a video and watched that. Quite uneventful, and not our idea of a rich life. I remember wondering why we bothered having a telephone, since nobody would ever call us on it. Sometimes I felt like engaging telemarketers in a conversation, just to talk with someone.

But over time that all changed. With every new effort we put into making friends, with every dinner party, and with every new place we actively looked for people to meet, we started to build friendships on solid foundations. Slowly slowly we would get calls for dinner parties and to go out. We turned our acquaintances into friends and eventually our friends into good friends.

Now we are rich. We can't retire by any stretch, but it is true our finances are healthier than they were a few years ago. We aren't rich because we sleep on mattresses stuffed with money, we're rich because we have awesome friends, who are honest, respectful and reliable and care for us, like we care for them. Friends that we have fun with and can be open with, and with whom we can engage in interesting and lively conversation.

We've been living in Calgary now for over four years and it takes time, patience and persistence to nurture good friendships. Good friends don't happen overnight, and without good friends it's impossible to be rich. That's why I say that it's impossible to get rich quickly.

Anyone can win a million dollars at the lottery but the number of zeros on a balance sheet and real wealth are two entirely different matters.